Dear Scorch Magazine: I Do Not Need Your Male Opinions About My Female Body. (In Which I Fail To Not Swear)

Anyone who knows me or has paid a lick of attention to this blog in the last month or so knows that I am no friend of Miley Cyrus. The woman is obliviously racist, willfully obtuse and completely ignorant. And that doesn't even take into account the fact that she spent yesterday shaming two women for their mental health issues. So no, Miley and I are not bosom buddies.

But you see this shit?

I DO NOT NEED YOUR MALE OPINIONS SCORCH MAGAZINE, NOR DO I WANT THEM.

And I'm no stranger to calling out misogynistic Trinidadian men on their shitty interpretations of gender relations. I've already cussed out a radio DJ and a friend of a friend. There's nothing new about this asinine explanation of events. But it's still insidious, so I guess I'll go lace up my patriarchy smashing boots.

This "article" is full of slut-shaming, body-shaming, concern trolling, gender essentialist, patriarchal bullshit. I do not need to read that. I have spend the last few years actively rejecting that kind of limited thinking. So since this appears to be "think of the children" week, I'll think of the children, and demonstrate, graf by graf, why all of this is nonsense.

*Laces boots*

#Scandal: In Defense of FLOTUS Mellie Grant (And 4 Reasons You Should Give Her A Chance)

Like most true Scandal fans, I've re-watched both seasons of the show (twice!) in preparation for the glorious even that occurs tonight: the Scandal Season 3 premiere.

Scandal is a show with many, many villains and very few true heroes, and that complexity has appealed to millions of people. The one thing that many people seem to agree on however, is the general terribleness of Mellie Grant, First Lady and wife to President Fitzgerald Grant; the man who is also Olivia Pope's lover.

Audiences see Mellie as the obstacle keeping Olivia from her true love, and a bitch in her own right for her many behind the scenes machinations; both personal and political. But I have sympathy for her. I actually really like Mellie, and I think she's get an unfair level of hate.

Hear me out: Mellie is definitely a problematic, sometimes amoral person. Remember Nobody Likes Babies? But she's not the denizen of evil that people make her out to be. She's a complex character just as much as Olivia is, and she is the best character on the show to me after Olivia. Shonda made sure that even though Mellie is "the villain", she has depth to her and complexity, and it really shows through. So here are four reason why I think You should Mellie Grant a chance this season. (Or at least give her the benefit of the doubt!)

1. She Loves Fitz.
Mellie loves Fitz, to her detriment. God alone knows how or why this man has TWO intelligent, capable and ambitious women completely dickmotized, but he does. Despite Fitz's tantrums, despite his disrespect, despite his affairs, she loves him and stands by him, even though she knows that exposing his adultery would garner her cultural capital she could use to launch her own career. Even after she does give an interview, effectively getting the public on her side, she refuses to leak Olivia's name, because she knows that it will mean Fitz could never forgive her, and in the end, she wants their marriage to be whole again. Mellie does everything in her power to keep Fitz happy, to help him to guide him, and he appreciates none of it. Lord knows I could go on about what's wrong with Fitz, but the real issue is that her love for Fitz, frankly, holds her back. She is devious up until the point where it impacts Fitz, and it continues to be the reason she gets the shit end of the stick.

2. She's Intelligent And Ambitious
Mellie gave up her own career aspirations to be with Fitz, and be his First Lady. There is a delightful scene towards the end of the season where Molivia Nope reads Mellie and makes mention of the "law degree she always mentions but never uses."Mellie didn't need to hitch her wagon to Fitz. She's whip smart and devious, and likely could have made it to the white house on her own. But she chose to set aside her ambitions for his, because she loved and believed in him. She chose to raise their profile together, rather than set out on her own (without Fitz's manchild baggage) because I think, she truly believed in his ability to do good work as a politician. Many of Mellie's little schemes are in direct response to the fact that she can tell Fitz's resolve is waning. He no longer wants the power he spent so long chasing, and Mellie is desperate to get him back to the man she fell in love with.

3. She Doesn't Go Down Without A Fight
The scenes that made me really root for Mellie for the ones in the last two episodes where she refused to buckle to Cyrus' demands. If you think about it, those scenes were all about a scorned wife trying to exact revenge as penance for her broken heart. And honestly? I'm not mad at her. Fitz disrespected her, cheated on her, belittled her, and made a mockery of their marriage. (Remember, "You are ornamental, not functional!"? And let's not forget that Fitz didn't even have the decency to tell her in person that he was choosing Olivia) In those moments, Mellie did what many women wish they had the strength to do; she stuck to her guns. She refused to be bullied, and she recognized that she was the one with the upper hand. I'll admit, I did a little fist bump for her, and those final scenes where Ftiz comes crawling back on his knees? SO satisfying!

4. She Doesn't Delude Herself About Who She Is Or What Her Motivations Are
Finally, Mellie Grant is very simply the most honest person on a show full of people who bend and twist the truth as it suits them. Mellie is political and ambitious and has machinations beyond what any of us can imagine, and she's never been shy about making that clear. With Mellie, what you see is what you get. She doesn't try to make light of her actions or justify her decisions. She is very transparently a "means justify the ends" kind of person, and that's refreshing in a scenario where the goal seems to be to screw over as many people as possible. When it comes to Fitz, Mellie isn't the one who changed in their relationship; he is. He is the one who no longer has the stomach for the work they do, and lashes out at Mellie for being exactly the person she was when they married. Mellie knows where she planned to let their star fall, and it wasn't going to be as a one term President. She's gunning for political longevity, and she's not shy about it.

*****

At the end of the day, Mellie Grant is a spectacular political animal who doesn't need Ftiz. If you ask me, she and Olivia should team up and dump the sucker altogether. What do you think? Are you gonna give Mellie a chance? And will you be watching Scandal tonight? Follow the #Scandal hastag on twitter for live tweets of the premiere.

Glambition [Episode #2]: Girl, Bye. Go Find Some Real Problems

The theme of this week's episode is Girl, Bye. And yes, I'm talking to you Sarah Jane.

I mean, I wasn't impressed with her last week, but this week she displayed a whole other level of.... self absorption that I just don't know what to do with her. It's weird for me to say that because Sarah Jane is my age. She's in a whole other bracket than I am financially, but I definitely understand that 20-something struggle of identity, direction and carving out a place for yourself in this world. I get the desperation to be successful and independent and financially stable. What I don't get is someone seeking validation for something that didn't actually happen to you.

SJ's claim to fame locally is that she went up for Ms. T&T Universe. I suppose that means she considers herself a beauty queen as well as a socialite. In this episode, she asks Leah to meet up with her to "discuss her concerns" and commiserate I suppose with a fellow beauty queen about life after the pageant. Her issue seems to be that she's trying to "move past it" (it being the pageant), but couched in terms that imply that getting national recognition and access to opportunities is somehow a burden for her. Her gripe is that she can't go out with her friends to the club without being approached by "fans" who want to take her picture.

Which is just.... GURL....

Glambition: Introductions, Shit Talk and First Impressions

Well, I had so much fun reviewing #CNTM that I'm back for more, this time with the new docu-drama Glambition, filmed in Trinidad, and airing Tuesday nights on Synergy TV. I didn't initially know a lot about the series, so I missed the initial pilot broadcast, but caught up later online. The 20 minute episode was.... interesting to say the least.

If I'm being honest? I wasn't impressed. The entire thing feels like a contrived, rehashed, bootleg version of The Hills, and that show got cancelled. The show is poorly edited, voice overs are stiltingly delivered, cuts are jumpy and obvious, transitions are jarring, there's a lot of repeated information.... production wise, it's a mess. And that's just the beginning. There is that strange stilted feeling throughout; cast members on budding realities shows tend to be hyper-aware of the camera's presence. The few actual conversations were constructed in such a way as to feel almost scripted. We've always known that reality television wasn't "real" but there's something here that feels disingenuous and overtly performed.

This episode largely focused on introducing the audience to the five cast members. We heard them describe themselves and their goals. And then we heard them talk shit about each other. The cast is an eclectic bunch though, and their casting might be the real genius of the series.

[Movie Review] TTFF2013 Premiere: Half Of A Yellow Sun

Sometimes a human story is all it takes.

Not having read the novel by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, I went into the screening of TTFF2013's opening night film, Half Of A Yellow Sun on Tuesday last, completely blind in terms of characterization and plot. The film, starring Thandie Newton and Chiwetel Ejiofor, was making it's Trinidadian debut after premiering in the Toronto International Film Festival the week before. 

The story is set in Nigeria during the Nigerian-Biafran war of 1967-1970, and focuses largely on the personal relationship between Olanna and Odenigbo, (Newton and Ejiofor respectively) and their struggle to survive during the a bloody civil war.

The couple go through familiar relationship rigors; testy in-laws, infidelity, hints at infertility; but they decide to commit to each other fully in a world that is crumbling around them, where the people they love are here one day and gone the next in frequently increasing air strikes that result from the war.

I'm not extensively familiar with Ejiofor's work, but after this performance, I want to see more. His turn as the philandering, drunkard Odenigbo is composed of just enough conviction mixed with lingering doubt to bring the character to life. He allows us to both dismiss Odenigbo when he tries to justify his infidelity to Olanna by saying he was raped, but also to empathize with his inner struggle as he realizes that he cannot provide the life he wants to for his family in the middle of  bloody civil war. 

Newton too, is brilliant. Her performance is reminiscent of the one she gave as Tangie Adrose in For Coloured Girls, not in characterization, but in thrust. Newton as Olanna is conflicted and hurt, but also self-assured. She makes you believe in her choices, (for example, to take Odenigbo back) even when you don't agree. Her grief though, hooks you. When she confronts Odenigbo about his betrayal, and again later, when a central character is presumed dead, her performance is raw and wounded. It feels intrusive to witness that much of someone else's pain.

Fleshing out the list of memorable performances was Anika Noni Rose as Kainene, twin sister to Olanna. I have seen little of Rose's work onscreen but here she shines; bringing a regality to Kainene's haughty dismissal of her sister's "revolutionary" lover. Her scenes against Newton are where she really steals the spotlight. Dry and disdainful, Kainene's conversations with Olanna highlight Rose's ability to play more than just the diminished black woman, a la For Coloured Girls or Dreamgirls. Here, she takes control, and moves the pieces on her chess board according to her often apathetic whims.

John Boyega holds his own against this stellar line up, as Odenigbo's houseboy Ugwu. Unitentionally funny in many scenes, his silent loyalty to Olanna and Odenigbo is endearing, and his educational ambitions pay off well later down the line. Boyega does well to make Ugwu a character we love but do not feel sorry for with his wide-eyed and open hearted portrayal. 

It is a unique experience to watch a film in a Trinidadian audience. The effect is pronounced if the film is an action movie or a comedy, but it happens in dramas too. In Trinidad, compelling characters and stories on film can unite an audience, and it happened that night as the crowd dissolved into the stories of these Nigerian protagonists. To me, that is a sign that the film excels; it made watching the film a communal experience among hundreds of people who had never met. 

Half Of A Yellow Sun is a compelling drama that I would definitely recommend, and rewatch. Great performances, a human struggle and suspenseful storyline collide here to form a timeless tribute to the resistance of the human spirit in the face of war times struggle. I enjoyed myself immensely, and the film has prompted me to seek out more of Adiche's work. 

In short? It excels.