#Scandal: I Know That Olivia Pope Isn't Perfect; It's Part Of The Reason I Love Her

It irks me that people (usually black men) keep saying that black women shouldn't love Olivia Pope because she is flawed. "Flawed" in this case usually equals "having an affair with a white guy". They don't realize it, but the concentrated hate that they hold for her is steeped in a very specific kind of racialized misogyny. Walter White was no hero, but somehow we managed to love him. Dexter was a serial killer and yet, we lauded him too. What do they have in common? You guessed it. Men. White men. Who also happened to be anti-hero characters whose virtues were valued alongside their flaws. But I'm going to set that aside for now.

I'm a black woman and I LOVE Scandal. I am not blind to Olivia's flaws. I love her because she has flaws. 

Black women are so severely underrepresented in media that Kerry Washington's role has garnered a considerable amount of attention simply because she is a black woman in a lead role of a network television show. And because she remains the only black female lead on primetime (Megan Good's Deception unfortunately didn't get picked up for a second season) she is expected to be everything for everybody. But Aunty Shonda rebukes your bullshit notions of black respectability, and instead, has created Olivia Pope as a fully fleshed out person. She is neither completely good nor completely evil; neither stark black nor brilliant white. Olivia Pope is a beautiful mix of all the eternal shades of grey. She is composed of both light and dark. She is often morally ambiguous. Like a real person.

I Am A Person With Feelings [Not A Fountain Of Infinite Knowledge]: More On Quitting Jezebel

I had originally planned to do a full and proper follow-up piece, but in doing my research (yes, I do my research so I can back my shit up) I ended up down a rabbit hole that basically demonstrated why wasting my time rebutting would be pointless. This thing with Jezebel.... it's happened before, and it'll happen again. Nothing that I could ever do on that site will change the fact that they Jezebel is not intersectional because it does not want to be intersectional. It's not hard to instigate a paradigm shift, not really. Not when you have so many WoC speaking up, reading and willing to tell their stories. 

Jezebel is not intersectional because intersectionality is not cool. It's not profitable. It's too gauche to give a voice to all the dirty brown poors. It took all of this to make me finally see that, but now that I have, I know that I'm right. 

I decided I wouldn't rebut, but I ended up vomiting my displeasure all out on twitter anyway, so I'm posting the Storify after the jump. The most important point I wanted to get across was that I'm not doing this because I think I know everything. I will freely admit to be being blind to most of this until SIFWW blew up. But in that time, I've done the work and the learning and I continue to do it everyday, by surrounding myself digitally with women who know more than I do. It's not impossible for white feminism to do the work too. It's not my job to educate well meaning white folk. You have the same google I do. 

And I want people to understand that I talk about this stuff because it affects my LIFE. It affects the way people view me. It affects the way I'm permitted to move through this world. This shit is important to me, and it bums me out that all that white feminism does is pay lip service to WoC, while expecting full support for their issues. I have been in tears over this stuff more than once. I'm very sensitive and it affects me significantly. I don't want to subject myself to something that is making me physically unwell, so I'm not going to. 

So yes, I'm done with white feminism. For those of you white feminists who understand the importance of intersectionality, keep pushing back. Keep holding each other accountable. Keep supporting the work of WoC, and stop expecting them to be a fountain of knowledge for your benefit.

Professor Google's office is open 24/7. Consult him.

The Hardest Word To Say Is Goodbye: Why I'm Quitting Jezebel

via Natalie Dee

Last night I quit Jezebel. It sounds like a dumb thing to be writing about, but for me, it's really, really significant.

I'm 23. I'm black. I'm West Indian. I didn't have a lot of exposure to feminism growing up. I cringe when I recall the things that I said about other women when I was a freshman in college, and the attitudes that I had towards sexuality and womanhood. I went to a Catholic school in a country that is still largely misogynistic. It was pretty much a given that I'd grown up to be an anti-woman little shit.

But then I found Jezebel. I found Jezebel and I started reading. I'm the kind of person who just likes to know things, so perusing the site pre-Kinja was like a revelation to me. All of a sudden I had this entire vocabulary to explain the little microagressions that I'd faced all my life, and a community of women who were engaged in parsing those issues. I could finally vocalize why I felt an inconsolable rage when I was tone policed. I knew how to defend myself against slut shaming. I could explain in detail why rape culture was so insidious and why restrictions on reproductive freedom were a devastating step backwards for women.

Jezebel taught me how to be a woman.
And then it taught me that it didn't care about the kind of woman that I am.

In a weird way, it feels like being betrayed by a trusted friend. I've been a regular on Jezebel since my junior year of college in 2010, and a fervent feminist ever since. But little by little I could see that there wasn't much consideration for a feminism that included the diversity of women. There was a blatant disregard for the difference in perspective that WoC have in relation to various issues by virtue of their different experiences of the world.

And then Kinja happened, and I was locked out of Groupthink during the switchover. I finally got posting privileges in July 2013. And then Solidarity Is For White Women happened and I talked about it. And Jezebel ignored it. So I talked about it some more.

In the three months since I've had posting privileges, all of the following have happened:

1. Solidarity Is For White Women called out Jezebel's complicity in allowing H. Schwyzer to become a prolific voice in online feminism, despite his continued abuse of WoC.
2. Instead of apologizing for their mistake or even acknowledging the situation in any way, Jessica Coen wrote a satirical post about the stages of grief, effectively trying to absolve herself of any responsibility.
3. When Jezebel did finally acknowledge SIFWW, rather than take the opportunity to address their role in the situation, they simply aggregated tweets without context, and then forgot to mention the WoC who started the hashtag.
4. Then Miley at the VMA's happened. And instead of talking about both the way that Miley was needlessly slut shamed and the way in which Miley's performance perpetuated racist narratives, they ignored the racist aspects of her performance altogether.
5. Pissed, I tackled it myself, and then Miley-Gate happened, and they ignored that too, instead choosing to recycle and old piece of one of the few WoC on staff, and tacking on the name of the white EIC.
6. And yesterday, a month later, they published a piece that made light of and mocked Chris Brown's admission that he had lost his virginity to a much older girl when he was eight. That's right. They diminished the fact that Chris Brown was RAPED AS A CHILD, because flagellating the misbehaving black man is more important than sympathy and support for a rape victim.

Three months. Three MONTHS! That's how many times Jezebel has majorly fucked up in three months. And it started to feel like I was just banging my head against a brick wall. It was getting pretty clear that Jessica Coen & Co. didn't care about the commentariat said and why should they? Jezebel isn't about feminism, or change, or making a difference. It's about page views and clicks. It's about money. "Corporate Feminism" at its finest. If it helps them hit their numbers, they're going to continue to troll the very readers that make their success possible. I refuse to be part of it anymore. Jezebel has become like that toxic friend you keep around out of nostalgia for the days when things were better. Fuck that. Time to cut the fat.

I know that Jessica Coen will likely never see this, and if she does she won't give a shit, but I sincerely hope she gets her shit together. I know that Jezebel likes to pass the buck and claim that they aren't technically a feminist site, but it is staffed by women who identify as feminist. And if they're as feminist as they claim to be, none of this stuff would be acceptable. So this is me calling you out Jessica. Get your shit the fuck together. Make some changes. Expand your perspective. Improve. Do better. Either do that, or never tackle another feminist issue on Jezebel ever again. Feminism isn't situational. Either you're feminist or you're not. Right now, you're not, but you keep pretending to be. Stop it.

It'll be hard to just drop Jezebel cold turkey, especially since it's my main source for feminist news (maybe that was the problem!) but I'll survive. As I said last night:

"I'm not letting them make any more money off my page views. I'm not enabling them to keep demonstrating that people who look like me are worthless to them. [...] It genuinely hurts me to feel like a space that is supposed to be feminist and inclusive, continuously rejects intersectionality and routinely reasserts the hierarchy of privilege. I'm not game for that."

So instead of spending all my time trying to strike back at Jezebel's bullshit, I'm going to get my own shit together. I'm gonna get back to my photography and I'm going to start spending more time on feminist websites that actually understand what feminism should be. Because they exist. There are spaces on the internet that allow diverse voices to be heard. Here's to signal boosting:

Gradient Lair

Racism School

Red Light Politics

The Angry Black Woman

What Privilege?

Critical Writings by Janet Mock

Chescaleigh

The Bad Dominicana

PostBourgie

Native Appropriations

Critical Spontaneity

Are Women Human

Karnythia

Racialicious

Black Girl Dangerous
The Crunk Feminist Collective

In addition to supporting the work of WoC, I'll continue to follow them on twitter. I have learned so much from so many incredible women just by sitting back an listening; just by watching the conversations unfold organically and genuinely considering perspective I'd never come across before. 

So I'm gone. I will dearly miss the lovely ladies of Groupthink, but they know they're all welcome here should they wish to come. I won't miss Jezebel. 

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Fuck You Gawker Media For Victim-Blaming Chris Brown

Because it was apparently so much fucking fun when Jezebel did it, Gawker just doubled down on their "Chris Brown is an asshole for getting raped at 8 years old" narrative.

I.... See, this is one of those things that makes PoC go on protracted rants about white people. And I know it's not all white people, so please don't start. But the the way that CB has been treated in the media since he beat Rihanna has been tinged with racism from the very start (didn't Charlie Sheen SHOOT a woman?!?!?) and this just confirms that the reason white liberals love to shit on Chris Brown is not because he's an abuser, but because he's a BLACK abuser. 

In the Guardian article that both pieces reference, CB admits to having been RAPED. He says he lost his virginity at 8. THAT IS RAPE IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. But it's okay to doubt his story or minimize his abuse because he's black. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he gets a pass for his violent behavior in the time since because of his abuse. He most definitely doesn't. But one can have sympathy for CB the rape victim as well as  condemn CB the domestic abuser. They are not mutually exclusive.

I was so pissed yesterday at Jezebel's piece that I ranted all over the comments section, but to see Gawker not only NOT apologize but continue the narrative? That's it. I think I'm done. I don't know that I can go back to that site anymore. If this were a female starlet that angle would NEVER have been taken, but apparently it's okay to blame a black man for the abuse he suffered AS A MOTHERFUCKING CHILD. What's his face (Dawkins?) made some off-colour comment about pedophilia being fine the other day, and everyone was tripping over themselves to excuse or clarify his words. Black man says something that strongly indicates his internalization of gendered myths of sex in order to cope with abuse and he's an asshole.

Fuck that. Fuck Jezebel. Fuck Gawker. 

Fuck all of you racist assholes who are gonna try to justify why treating CB like shit about his sexual abuse is fine, and genuinely believe it has nothing to do with your racist ideologies.

I'm done.

#Womanifesto: Embracing Womanism; Rejecting The Status Quo

I am black and I am a woman.

I reject the notion that I can or should, ever separate the two, because my experiences as a woman are modified and amplified by my blackness, and vice versa.

I reject the notion that my sexuality does not exist on my own terms. My pleasure exists for me and I use it and claim it however and how often I see fit. I will not be judged for excercising the sexual freedom that follows inherently from bodily autonomy.

I reject the notion that I am inherently sexual or sexually available because of my black womanhood. I take it upon myself to be sexual when and with whom I wish, and reserve the right to refuse to be sexual or sexualized against my will.

I reject the notion that my sexuality is a commodity to be fetishized or demonized by virtue of my blackness. My sex is not deviant because it is not white.

I reject the notion that my body is not my own. I will refuse to be subjected to physical contact that is unwanted or unsolicited, whether it be the petting of my dreadlocks or the squeezing of my ass. I am not an exoticism that exists for the entertainment of others.

I reject the notion that there is a "right way" to be a black woman and I will not tolerate the projection of other people's ideas of black womanhood being used to police the display of my body, or my expression of myself.

I reject the notion that my chosen expression of self is a comment on my self worth. I reserve the right to be whomever I decide is my best self, without having my self esteem devalued because of its proximity to my tattoos, piercings or ample behind.

I reject the notion that my body's natural state is unfit for public consumption because it does not conform to Eurocentric ideals of beauty. I will not be forced to straighten my hair in order to be considered worthy of respect, or diminish the visible curves of my body in order to be deemed virtuous.

I reject the notion that my intellectual perspective is less valid because of my black womanhood. I will stand up for myself and voice my concerns whenever it is apparent that my mind is being devalued by virtue of being housed in a black female body.

I reject the notion that I must comply with or be deferent to, white womanhood. I will not measure myself against ideals that I have been genetically excluded from and therefore cannot ever fully achieve.

I reject the notion that I am worthless by virtue of my refusal to comply with the patriarchal ideals of white womanhood. I deserve the same protection, respect and reverence that is automatically conferred unto white female bodies.

I reject the notion that I must comply with or be deferent to black manhood. I will not ignore or accept the sexism or misogynoir I am subjected to by black men simply because they are also black.

I reject the notion that I am not allowed access to the full spectrum of human emotion. I will not deny my rightful anger or occasional weaknesses, nor allow them to be dismissed or invalidated because of racist ideas of black female strength and stoicism.

I reject the notion that I am responsible for my own victimization. I will not be told that I could have avoided the pain that was inflicted upon me by another person if I had been better at expressing the right kind of femininity.

I reject the notion that I have a responsibility to be a representative example of black womanhood. I am an individual with unique thoughts and feelings, and I am allowed to dissent from the mainstream perspective.

I reject the notion that I must be silent in the face of my oppression, or that my concerns are less valid because they are specific to black womanhood. I refuse to accept violence in the form of sexism or racism.

I reject the notion that I should wait my turn to have my intersections of oppression addressed. I will continue to fight to be included in spaces that expect support from me, but do not expect to support me in turn.

I reject the notion that I should stop being vocal about the issues that affect me, or that I am "speaking too much" about the oppression that I face. I will not be silenced by the systems of white patriarchal power that seek to make me fall in line.

"If you are silent about your pain, they will kill you and say you liked it." -Zora Neale Hurston

I am a black woman.
I will not be silent.
I exist for me.