Fuck You Gawker Media For Victim-Blaming Chris Brown

Because it was apparently so much fucking fun when Jezebel did it, Gawker just doubled down on their "Chris Brown is an asshole for getting raped at 8 years old" narrative.

I.... See, this is one of those things that makes PoC go on protracted rants about white people. And I know it's not all white people, so please don't start. But the the way that CB has been treated in the media since he beat Rihanna has been tinged with racism from the very start (didn't Charlie Sheen SHOOT a woman?!?!?) and this just confirms that the reason white liberals love to shit on Chris Brown is not because he's an abuser, but because he's a BLACK abuser. 

In the Guardian article that both pieces reference, CB admits to having been RAPED. He says he lost his virginity at 8. THAT IS RAPE IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. But it's okay to doubt his story or minimize his abuse because he's black. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he gets a pass for his violent behavior in the time since because of his abuse. He most definitely doesn't. But one can have sympathy for CB the rape victim as well as  condemn CB the domestic abuser. They are not mutually exclusive.

I was so pissed yesterday at Jezebel's piece that I ranted all over the comments section, but to see Gawker not only NOT apologize but continue the narrative? That's it. I think I'm done. I don't know that I can go back to that site anymore. If this were a female starlet that angle would NEVER have been taken, but apparently it's okay to blame a black man for the abuse he suffered AS A MOTHERFUCKING CHILD. What's his face (Dawkins?) made some off-colour comment about pedophilia being fine the other day, and everyone was tripping over themselves to excuse or clarify his words. Black man says something that strongly indicates his internalization of gendered myths of sex in order to cope with abuse and he's an asshole.

Fuck that. Fuck Jezebel. Fuck Gawker. 

Fuck all of you racist assholes who are gonna try to justify why treating CB like shit about his sexual abuse is fine, and genuinely believe it has nothing to do with your racist ideologies.

I'm done.

#Womanifesto: Embracing Womanism; Rejecting The Status Quo

I am black and I am a woman.

I reject the notion that I can or should, ever separate the two, because my experiences as a woman are modified and amplified by my blackness, and vice versa.

I reject the notion that my sexuality does not exist on my own terms. My pleasure exists for me and I use it and claim it however and how often I see fit. I will not be judged for excercising the sexual freedom that follows inherently from bodily autonomy.

I reject the notion that I am inherently sexual or sexually available because of my black womanhood. I take it upon myself to be sexual when and with whom I wish, and reserve the right to refuse to be sexual or sexualized against my will.

I reject the notion that my sexuality is a commodity to be fetishized or demonized by virtue of my blackness. My sex is not deviant because it is not white.

I reject the notion that my body is not my own. I will refuse to be subjected to physical contact that is unwanted or unsolicited, whether it be the petting of my dreadlocks or the squeezing of my ass. I am not an exoticism that exists for the entertainment of others.

I reject the notion that there is a "right way" to be a black woman and I will not tolerate the projection of other people's ideas of black womanhood being used to police the display of my body, or my expression of myself.

I reject the notion that my chosen expression of self is a comment on my self worth. I reserve the right to be whomever I decide is my best self, without having my self esteem devalued because of its proximity to my tattoos, piercings or ample behind.

I reject the notion that my body's natural state is unfit for public consumption because it does not conform to Eurocentric ideals of beauty. I will not be forced to straighten my hair in order to be considered worthy of respect, or diminish the visible curves of my body in order to be deemed virtuous.

I reject the notion that my intellectual perspective is less valid because of my black womanhood. I will stand up for myself and voice my concerns whenever it is apparent that my mind is being devalued by virtue of being housed in a black female body.

I reject the notion that I must comply with or be deferent to, white womanhood. I will not measure myself against ideals that I have been genetically excluded from and therefore cannot ever fully achieve.

I reject the notion that I am worthless by virtue of my refusal to comply with the patriarchal ideals of white womanhood. I deserve the same protection, respect and reverence that is automatically conferred unto white female bodies.

I reject the notion that I must comply with or be deferent to black manhood. I will not ignore or accept the sexism or misogynoir I am subjected to by black men simply because they are also black.

I reject the notion that I am not allowed access to the full spectrum of human emotion. I will not deny my rightful anger or occasional weaknesses, nor allow them to be dismissed or invalidated because of racist ideas of black female strength and stoicism.

I reject the notion that I am responsible for my own victimization. I will not be told that I could have avoided the pain that was inflicted upon me by another person if I had been better at expressing the right kind of femininity.

I reject the notion that I have a responsibility to be a representative example of black womanhood. I am an individual with unique thoughts and feelings, and I am allowed to dissent from the mainstream perspective.

I reject the notion that I must be silent in the face of my oppression, or that my concerns are less valid because they are specific to black womanhood. I refuse to accept violence in the form of sexism or racism.

I reject the notion that I should wait my turn to have my intersections of oppression addressed. I will continue to fight to be included in spaces that expect support from me, but do not expect to support me in turn.

I reject the notion that I should stop being vocal about the issues that affect me, or that I am "speaking too much" about the oppression that I face. I will not be silenced by the systems of white patriarchal power that seek to make me fall in line.

"If you are silent about your pain, they will kill you and say you liked it." -Zora Neale Hurston

I am a black woman.
I will not be silent.
I exist for me.

Dear Scorch Magazine: I Do Not Need Your Male Opinions About My Female Body. (In Which I Fail To Not Swear)

Anyone who knows me or has paid a lick of attention to this blog in the last month or so knows that I am no friend of Miley Cyrus. The woman is obliviously racist, willfully obtuse and completely ignorant. And that doesn't even take into account the fact that she spent yesterday shaming two women for their mental health issues. So no, Miley and I are not bosom buddies.

But you see this shit?

I DO NOT NEED YOUR MALE OPINIONS SCORCH MAGAZINE, NOR DO I WANT THEM.

And I'm no stranger to calling out misogynistic Trinidadian men on their shitty interpretations of gender relations. I've already cussed out a radio DJ and a friend of a friend. There's nothing new about this asinine explanation of events. But it's still insidious, so I guess I'll go lace up my patriarchy smashing boots.

This "article" is full of slut-shaming, body-shaming, concern trolling, gender essentialist, patriarchal bullshit. I do not need to read that. I have spend the last few years actively rejecting that kind of limited thinking. So since this appears to be "think of the children" week, I'll think of the children, and demonstrate, graf by graf, why all of this is nonsense.

*Laces boots*

#Scandal: In Defense of FLOTUS Mellie Grant (And 4 Reasons You Should Give Her A Chance)

Like most true Scandal fans, I've re-watched both seasons of the show (twice!) in preparation for the glorious even that occurs tonight: the Scandal Season 3 premiere.

Scandal is a show with many, many villains and very few true heroes, and that complexity has appealed to millions of people. The one thing that many people seem to agree on however, is the general terribleness of Mellie Grant, First Lady and wife to President Fitzgerald Grant; the man who is also Olivia Pope's lover.

Audiences see Mellie as the obstacle keeping Olivia from her true love, and a bitch in her own right for her many behind the scenes machinations; both personal and political. But I have sympathy for her. I actually really like Mellie, and I think she's get an unfair level of hate.

Hear me out: Mellie is definitely a problematic, sometimes amoral person. Remember Nobody Likes Babies? But she's not the denizen of evil that people make her out to be. She's a complex character just as much as Olivia is, and she is the best character on the show to me after Olivia. Shonda made sure that even though Mellie is "the villain", she has depth to her and complexity, and it really shows through. So here are four reason why I think You should Mellie Grant a chance this season. (Or at least give her the benefit of the doubt!)

1. She Loves Fitz.
Mellie loves Fitz, to her detriment. God alone knows how or why this man has TWO intelligent, capable and ambitious women completely dickmotized, but he does. Despite Fitz's tantrums, despite his disrespect, despite his affairs, she loves him and stands by him, even though she knows that exposing his adultery would garner her cultural capital she could use to launch her own career. Even after she does give an interview, effectively getting the public on her side, she refuses to leak Olivia's name, because she knows that it will mean Fitz could never forgive her, and in the end, she wants their marriage to be whole again. Mellie does everything in her power to keep Fitz happy, to help him to guide him, and he appreciates none of it. Lord knows I could go on about what's wrong with Fitz, but the real issue is that her love for Fitz, frankly, holds her back. She is devious up until the point where it impacts Fitz, and it continues to be the reason she gets the shit end of the stick.

2. She's Intelligent And Ambitious
Mellie gave up her own career aspirations to be with Fitz, and be his First Lady. There is a delightful scene towards the end of the season where Molivia Nope reads Mellie and makes mention of the "law degree she always mentions but never uses."Mellie didn't need to hitch her wagon to Fitz. She's whip smart and devious, and likely could have made it to the white house on her own. But she chose to set aside her ambitions for his, because she loved and believed in him. She chose to raise their profile together, rather than set out on her own (without Fitz's manchild baggage) because I think, she truly believed in his ability to do good work as a politician. Many of Mellie's little schemes are in direct response to the fact that she can tell Fitz's resolve is waning. He no longer wants the power he spent so long chasing, and Mellie is desperate to get him back to the man she fell in love with.

3. She Doesn't Go Down Without A Fight
The scenes that made me really root for Mellie for the ones in the last two episodes where she refused to buckle to Cyrus' demands. If you think about it, those scenes were all about a scorned wife trying to exact revenge as penance for her broken heart. And honestly? I'm not mad at her. Fitz disrespected her, cheated on her, belittled her, and made a mockery of their marriage. (Remember, "You are ornamental, not functional!"? And let's not forget that Fitz didn't even have the decency to tell her in person that he was choosing Olivia) In those moments, Mellie did what many women wish they had the strength to do; she stuck to her guns. She refused to be bullied, and she recognized that she was the one with the upper hand. I'll admit, I did a little fist bump for her, and those final scenes where Ftiz comes crawling back on his knees? SO satisfying!

4. She Doesn't Delude Herself About Who She Is Or What Her Motivations Are
Finally, Mellie Grant is very simply the most honest person on a show full of people who bend and twist the truth as it suits them. Mellie is political and ambitious and has machinations beyond what any of us can imagine, and she's never been shy about making that clear. With Mellie, what you see is what you get. She doesn't try to make light of her actions or justify her decisions. She is very transparently a "means justify the ends" kind of person, and that's refreshing in a scenario where the goal seems to be to screw over as many people as possible. When it comes to Fitz, Mellie isn't the one who changed in their relationship; he is. He is the one who no longer has the stomach for the work they do, and lashes out at Mellie for being exactly the person she was when they married. Mellie knows where she planned to let their star fall, and it wasn't going to be as a one term President. She's gunning for political longevity, and she's not shy about it.

*****

At the end of the day, Mellie Grant is a spectacular political animal who doesn't need Ftiz. If you ask me, she and Olivia should team up and dump the sucker altogether. What do you think? Are you gonna give Mellie a chance? And will you be watching Scandal tonight? Follow the #Scandal hastag on twitter for live tweets of the premiere.

Glambition [Episode #2]: Girl, Bye. Go Find Some Real Problems

The theme of this week's episode is Girl, Bye. And yes, I'm talking to you Sarah Jane.

I mean, I wasn't impressed with her last week, but this week she displayed a whole other level of.... self absorption that I just don't know what to do with her. It's weird for me to say that because Sarah Jane is my age. She's in a whole other bracket than I am financially, but I definitely understand that 20-something struggle of identity, direction and carving out a place for yourself in this world. I get the desperation to be successful and independent and financially stable. What I don't get is someone seeking validation for something that didn't actually happen to you.

SJ's claim to fame locally is that she went up for Ms. T&T Universe. I suppose that means she considers herself a beauty queen as well as a socialite. In this episode, she asks Leah to meet up with her to "discuss her concerns" and commiserate I suppose with a fellow beauty queen about life after the pageant. Her issue seems to be that she's trying to "move past it" (it being the pageant), but couched in terms that imply that getting national recognition and access to opportunities is somehow a burden for her. Her gripe is that she can't go out with her friends to the club without being approached by "fans" who want to take her picture.

Which is just.... GURL....