Best of BattyMamzelle: Top 10 Essays of 2013

I've done quite a bit of writing this year. The one good thing about working from home is that it makes it a lot easier to churn out essays during procrastination breaks. I've had to deal with a lot of changes over the past 12 months, but the biggest personal change for me has been my feminism, and subsequently the direction of this blog. My politics matter to me, and they reflect my personal beliefs. It's no surprise then that I used the resources I had to make my voice heard. I'm a writer, so I wrote. Here, in descending order, are the ten essays I wrote this year that I consider to be my best.


10. Solidarity Is For Miley Cyrus: The Racial Implications of Her VMA Performance

"[...]what Miley has done here is indicate that 1. She wants to be sexual and 2. She needs to associate herself with black bodies to do it. By doing this, she in inexplicably intertwining the idea of sexuality as part and parcel of black womanhood; that is, that black women cannot exist without sexuality and vice versa, and that the only acceptable way to be sexual, is to "be black". That idea plays into deeply racist ideas about black womanhood, the idea being that black women are wanton and lascivious, and cannot control their expressions of sexuality."

I'm not as happy stylistically with this piece of writing as I was when I first published it, but I stand by it. Writing this piece was the turning point of my feminism this year, and I'm both proud of the discussion that it generated, and grateful for the experience of having to defend it from the internet at large! I learned a lot about myself in dealing with the fallout from this piece and doing so both helped solidify my personal politics, and gave me the encouragement I needed to keep writing.

Lusty, Busty & Fine: Jill Scott in "Baggage Claim" Shows That Big Girls Can Get Sexy Too

Today, I finally saw the Paula Patton led movie, Baggage Claim, and it was.... a predictably mediocre romantic comedy. Girl meets guy, girl wants ring, guy cheats, girl shame spirals and tries to get any one of several ex-boyfriend to propose, girl's plan fails, girl realizes the right guy was (literally) next door the whole time. And, fin. So, terrible. I did like the man-candy though.

But what stuck out to me in this film was Jill Scott's character Gail, best friend to Patton's Montgomery. Gail, a fellow flight attendant, is like Scott, plus-sized and busty. But she's also blatantly sexual. From the first few scenes of the movie, we establish that Gail is "that girl"; the one who has no shame and chases after her men the way she chases her drinks.

Normally, the idea of yet another hypersexualized black female character would irritate me, but this was different. We have very specific narratives for how we interact with black women in the media. We get the Jezebels, and we get the Mammies. The Jezebels are sleek, sexy and can't keep their legs closed. The Mammies are overweight and asexual; never the twain shall meet. But with Gail, we have a voluptuous woman, who is very sexual, and not even a little bit ashamed of it. It was refreshing for me to see a plus-sized black woman engage with men sexually onscreen, and not be the subject of derision.

The contrast that immediately comes to mind is the way in which sexual plus-sized women are so often played for laughs in comedies. Take Melissa McCarthy's character, Megan Price in Bridesmaids. In that infamous scene with the Air Marshall, Megan comes on strong and makes her sexual interest very well known. We laugh, not because there's anything particularly funny about her being so forthcoming, (if anything, it borders on sexual harassment and really isn't funny) but because "Ha, ha! The fat girl thinks he'd want to have sex with her!" Her fatness nullifies her sexual attractiveness, making the scene funny because of the audience's incredulity at the situation.

It also makes me think of other plus-sized black female characters like Retta's Donna Meagle on Parks & Recreation's. Donna's active sex life is a running gag on the show that is often referenced, but we've never actually seen any of the many men she claims to bed. We see the expensive cars they gift her, and we hear tales of the different ways in which she doesn't tolerate their nonsense, but we have yet to see Donna actually have a romantic storyline. It's fine for the big black woman to have lots of sex, as long as we're only made to laugh at it.

What really made me love Gail's portrayal in Baggage Claim was that fact that all the men she came onto over the course of the film were totally into it. Her sexuality wasn't played for laughs in a cruel way. The scenes are entirely believable, and rather than thinking of Jill Scott's weight, we're thinking that we all have that friend who behaves exactly like her. Here, the situation is funny because of the "this woman has no shame, oh my god, I could never" element. We're not ashamed of her. We're rooting for her.

In the scene that the picture above is taken from, Gail spills peanuts on the passenger's lap in order to have an excuse to dust his pants, and shove her cleavage into his face. As you can tell from the picture, the man is... rather enjoying the display. There's no disgust, there's no incredulity. This man is depicted as being just as sexually interested in Gail as we the audience might expect him to be in Montgomery; read, skinny women. I think that's the a huge deal, no pun intended. Too often, plus-seized women are excised from the pool of sexuality for no other reason than the fact that they aren't thin, when the fact remains that being overweight doesn't mean that your libido evaporates, or that you're no longer desirable.

All in all, I think that this character is great. If I'm honest, Jill Scott is just about the only bright spot in this movie, but that's an issue for another time. I really enjoyed seeing a plus-sized black woman be sexy onscreen without it being seen as problematic in some way. No one slut-shames her, no one condemns her behaviour. Gail is left to her own lusty devices, and it's not an issue. She gets to express and explore her sexuality without being told that her desire to do so is ridiculous because of her weight. That's in stark contrast to another of Jill Scott's characters: Sheila in Why Did I Get Married, whose husband laughs at her for trying to be sexy for him.

Moral of the story? Jill Scott is a gem, I love her and it's refreshing to see the big girls get sexy onscreen. More please!

***Flawless: On "BEYONCÉ"; The Album, The Woman, The Feminist

There's been a lot written online about Beyoncé in the last week and a half. Between the initial frenzy of the release of her new album, the delight over her overtly feminist messages and the almost instantaneous backlash that Beyoncé the woman (and the body of work) was both anti-feminist, or simply not feminist enough, we've all had Beyoncé on the brain. While I did write a essay about her song Partition and had plans to write another piece examining the album as a whole, I've realized that many other writers have already done a much better job than I ever could have. There is already an amazing canon of work that critically analyzes this new album. Here are a few of my favourite pieces in approximate publication order:

1. That Time Beyoncé's Album Invalidated Every Criticism of Feminism Ever by Christina Coleman
2. Beyoncé's New Self-Titled LP Is The Feminist's Album Of 2013 by Hayden Manders
3. Beyoncé's New Self-Titled Album Is A Manifesto of Black Womanhood And Freedom from Gradient Lair
4. Beyoncé Drops Her Feminist Manifesto from The Melissa Harris Perry Show
5. 5 Reasons I'm Here For Beyoncé, The Feminist from Crunk Feminist Collective
6. Beyoncé's New Album Should Silence Her Feminist Critics by Mikki Kendall
7. Beyoncé Samples Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's TEDx Message On Surprise Album by Kate Torgovnick May
8. On Defending Beyoncé: Black Feminists, White Feminists, And The Line In The Sand by Mia McKenzie
9. Flawless: 5 Lessons in Modern Feminism From Beyoncé by Eliana Dockterman
10. Why Beyoncé's Feminism Is The Same AsYours: Unconventional And Flawed by Mikki Kendall
11. All Hail The Queen? from BitchMagazine
12. Beyoncé's New Album Is A Feminist Manifesto by Sarah Ditum

*****

What I love about this album is that the feminist themes run throughout; they are not just limited to the one song in which she explicitly invokes it. The album deals almost directly with the many criticisms that Beyoncé has fielded this year, and tackles them head on. 

BEYONCÉ the album is also amazing because it approaches feminism, through music, from an intersectional perspective. The songs and the visuals deal explicitly with the experience of black womanhood. The tracks on this album allow Beyoncé to cycle through every emotion imaginable; which is a big deal when we consider that black women are often not permitted access to the full spectrum of emotion. From struggling with body image in Pretty Hurts, to being madly in love with her husband in Drunk In Love, to openly exploring her sexual desires in Blow and Partition, to revealing her vulnerabilities in Jealous, to embracing her feminism and politics in ****Flawless, to mourning a friend in Heaven; this album presents Beyoncé, a black woman, as a full and complete person who fully explores and embraces the many facets of her personality. Not once does Beyoncé shy away from her true self in order to adhere to commonly understood rules of propriety.

Much has been made about how explicitly sexual this album is, but to me, it's one of its shining points. Dealing with the Jezebel stereotype is a daily struggle for black women. So much so, that people have difficulty even with the idea that a black woman being sexual could be doing so for her own satisfaction, rather than with the intent of gaining male attention. Here, Beyoncé throws all that away; she sheds the burden of stereotype threat entirely, deciding to do what she wants, when she wants, and to hell with those who refuse to understand. This album is sex-positive in a very powerful way, and that's an important message for black women to receive. It's incredibly important that black women know that they do not have to shrink themselves or deny themselves access to pleasure in pursuit of respectability.

The general public has this impenetrable image of Beyoncé as a flawless, immaculate being who never missteps or makes a mistake. It's not a hard theory to support after all; we're talking about Beyoncé. But with this body of work, she goes a long way to knowingly and willingly shatter that image and show that she has a lot of the same identity struggles as we do. Being famous and rich changes her specific perspective on her intersection as a black woman, but with this album Beyoncé invites us to see how she's figured out how to deal with them.

This album is like a love letter to black women everywhere. It's a call to arms; it is musical permission to embrace ourselves and each other unconditionally. It is a manifesto of self love, self-assurance and self care. It is a statement of joy that she has invited us to be a part of.

For me, it's the best album of the year.

Est-Ce Que Tu Aimes Le Sexe?: Yoncé Brings Feminism To Its Knees

There is a longer more fleshed out essay on  BEYONCÉ in the works, (which probably won't be published until next week at this rate) but in rewatching King Bey's magnum opus, I have been uncovering gem after gem of naked feminist ideology, and I can't get enough.

The latest little gem I found is this subversive little quote cleverly inserted in French into Partition, a song about Bey getting it on with Jay Z in the back of a limo on the way to the club:

"Est-ce que tu aimes le sexe? Le sexe, je veux dire l'activité physique, le coït, tu aimes ça? Tu ne t'intéresses pas au sexe? Les hommes pensent que les féministes déstestent le sexe mais c'est une activité très stimulante et naturelle que les femmes adorent."

According to friends who are much smarter than me, the above translates to:

"Don't you like sex? Sex. I mean sex, the physical activity. Fucking. You like that? You're not interested in sex? Men think feminists don't like sex, but it's a very fun and natural activity that women love."

So... can we please talk about this? I'm not sure of the origins of this quote (so please tell me if you know) (according to other friends much smarter than me, the quote is from The Big Lebowski). Beyoncé is revealing some truths here.

This year, there was a lot of discussion of Beyoncé's feminism; or more precisely whether or not mainstream (read: white) feminism deemed her feminist enough. Short answer? They didn't, and a lot of that criticism, was directly related to the fact that Beyoncé's image is consistently and deliberately very sexy and sexual. (White) Feminism claimed that Beyoncé was not an adequate role model because "[...] variations of Beyonce's body suit can be found in brothels, strip clubs, and red light districts across the world - where sex is for sale and it happens to be dispensed through a woman's body." 

You read that right. Beyoncé's costumes are the equivalent to those that sex workers wear. Clearly their proximity to the sex work of women (who are disproportionately of colour, mind you) makes them inherently bad. Because reasons. Or something.

In any case, the reason I wanted to highlight this quote is because of the way she consciously intermingles her feminism with her sexuality. Partition has references to Jay Z... *ahem*...Monica Lewinsky-ing, on Beyoncé's gown, and to her going down on him in the backseat of a car. And then she drops this quote. In other words, she can be both sexual and a feminist. They are not mutually exclusive.

And we haven't even touched on the very racialized nature of the criticisms that Beyoncé received in the first place. Because while Bey was being reprimanded for posing in her underwear, Miley "Black-Women-Are-Props-For-My-Comeback-Album" Cyrus, was being hailed as a feminist icon. You're deluding yourself if you don't acknowledge that the difference in coverage is directly related to their difference in race.

As I've talked about before, the conversation surrounding black women and sexuality is always coloured by the historical context in which black women's bodies were used against their will; a direct result of their perceived lack of humanity due to their blackness. Because of these ideas, we're stuck with the Jezebel stereotype of inherent and uncontrollable black female sexuality. With this song, Beyoncé has done two things: reclaim her sexuality on her own terms and directly negate the misconception that feminism and sex are incompatible.

By embracing her sexuality; explicitly detailing her kinks and fantasies, she demonstrates that there is nothing uncontrollable about it. Her sexuality is deliberate and fully within her command, and she has every intent to use it as she sees fit; in this case, to pleasure her man (and by extension, herself).

As a black woman myself, this message is powerful to me. This is Beyoncé explicitly saying that there is nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality or your pleasure as a black woman. There's nothing shameful about it, and we should refuse to be ashamed of it. I have had people tell me directly that to consciously embrace my sexuality as a black woman is to reinforce the stereotype of hypersexuality. Which... is unfortunately exactly what less savvy minds will take away from this incredibly powerful political statement. Sex and feminism are not on opposite ends of a spectrum. They are related concepts that inform and influence each other in a myriad of ways.

Sexy Feminist King Beyoncé gets it.

Discussions Of Sexuality Are Not The Same For WoC: Let's Stop Pretending They Are

Back again. This time to share this comment thread (and specifically the comment below) where I talk about Rashida Jones' comments about "women being whores" and how it relates to Rihanna (because Rihanna is the devil incarnate/Illuminati Queen/Bringer of all that is Evil in the world. Naturally), and the way in which the conversations about "pop stars being whores" always manages to find a black woman to scapegoat:

I also think that it's imperative that we talk about racial disparities when we talk about this stuff because sexual expectations are just different for WoC. For WW, virginal is the assumed natural state, and expressions of sexuality are seen as liberating (Madonna). For WoC, crass and oversexed is the assumed natural state, and any self motivated expressions of sexuality are seen as a reinforcement of that stereotype (Rihanna). If we push against that assumption we're prudes, and how dare we refuse a sexual advance with our ugly black ass selves? We can't win. And I know because it's something that I personally struggle with daily. 

That is what so many WW fail to recognize and acknowledge. The rules are different for WoC, especially BW who have been the subject of specific, pervasive, racialized myths that have devalued our sexuality. You cannot judge a black woman's sexuality by the rules of white femininity. You just can't do it. The historical context that exists distorts the conversation from the get-go. It is useless to have a discussion about "women's sexuality" without the intersection of race. To do so is to consciously and bullheadedly ignore the fact that there is a stratification of worth when it comes to women and their "inherent value" with WW on the very top and BW on the very bottom. 

I don't remember who said it first but essentially, a lot of the sexism that WW face is misguided benevolence. You can't do X because you're dainty/fragile/precious/must be protected. The misogynoir that BW face is sexism couched in racism and disregard. "I know you're a woman because I see breasts and a vagina, but you're dark and ugly and therefore exist only as a receptacle for my penis, whenever I feel like it." Yo. There's a reason that BW were considered "unrapeable."

I  talked about this at length in the piece I wrote about her Pour It Up video, and the way in which the sexual double standard doesn't just play out across genders, but across races. We really need to get past the idea that all issues affect all women equally. THEY DON'T. They never did. And whether you not you want to acknowledge it, WW have always had it better off than WoC. This is simply fact. It is no one's fault (well.... nope, not touching it) but it is the way the world works. To ignore that it so condense the conversation down into unrecognizable territory and to do a complete disservice to the millions of women who have a dog in this race too. 

That is why Hood Feminism's discussion of #FastTailedGirls was a noticeably and intentionally all black space (that very quickly shut down cries of "me too" from WW). That label is used almost exclusively to police BW's sexuality from childhood. It's why the Onion calling Quevanzhané Wallis was not satire or a joke, it was misogynoir. We really need people to listen when we say that a specific act affects us differently because of our current place in the social landscape.

Say it with me: THE EXPECTATIONS OF YOUR SEXUALITY ARE DIFFERENT WHEN YOU ARE BLACK AND FEMALE. YOU CANNOT APPLY THE RULES OF WHITE FEMININITY TO BLACK FEMALE BODIES.

Just a morning PSA. 

  

#FeministSelfies For Freedom! (And Self-Love)

I wasn't online for most of today, so when I got home an hour ago and saw the furor online about #feministselfies, I had a bit of catching up to do. Trust me when I tell you that I was not in any way surprised to discover that Jezebel had stepped in it again with a pretty condescending piece about the inherent narcissism of selfies. Plus ça change!

After reading the piece though, two quotes in particular stood out to me:

"Stop this. Selfies aren't empowering; they're a high tech reflection of the fucked up way society teaches women that their most important quality is their physical attractiveness."

"Further, self-taken digital portraits are typically posted on social media, ostensibly with the intent of getting people to respon to them that's what social media is. In that respect, selfies aren't expressions of pride, but rather calls for affirmation."

Here's the thing; my own relationship with selfies is fairly complicated. I'm a photographer who doesn't think she photographs well. I actively avoid having my picture taken because I never find my portrait to be very flattering. In that regard, I've always hated "selfie culture" for almost the exact opposite reason that Jez's Erin Gloria Ryan seems to: I don't see selfies as a call for affirmation, but rather an affirmation that you don't need validation.

Sexualization, Exploitation, And Black Female Celebrities: On The Subtle Womanism of Rihanna and Nicki Minaj

I've been thinking about writing this post for a while. It was originally conceived as an examination of the "Stripper Anthem" as presented by Nicki Minaj and Rihanna in Beez In The Trap and Pour It Up, as it related to the sexuality and sexualization of black women, but after last week's post on Lily Allen, and some of the... ill-informed responses it received, I realized that there is a different conversation that needs to be had first.

That conversation is about the distinction between the exploitation of black women's sexuality for the (white) male consumerist gaze, and a black female celebrity's reclamation of her own sexuality on her own terms. For whatever reason, there seems to some difficulty in grasping the concept that the most significant difference between these two scenarios is agency, and the way in which the presence or lack of agency determines how a display of sexuality is to be perceived and received.

To that end, I want to examine the images presented in the aforementioned videos, deconstruct them, and demonstrate why despite popular belief, their respective "stripper anthems" are anything but demeaning.

I'm Not Okay With Lily Allen's Racist New Video: When Satire Crosses The Line [UPDATED]

I'm.... conflicted about this video. 

Lily Allen has always been a bit of a socially progressive, feminist badass, and I do love her for that. In her new single "Hard Out Here", Allen discusses the state of the pop industry, and the impossible standards that women are held to in order to be allowed to progress. The lyrics are classic Lily Allen; she calls out sexism pretty blatantly, and points to the ways in which women are expected to conform in order to succeed:

If I told you about my sex life, you'd call me a slut/When boys be talking about their bitches no one's making a fuss/There's a glass ceiling to break/There's money to make/ And now it's time to speed it up because I can't move at this pace. [...] 

If you're not a size 6, then you're not good looking/Well you better be rich or be real good at cooking/You should probably lose some weight 'cause we can't see your bones/You should probably fix your face or you'll end up on your own/Don't you want to have somebody who objectifies you?/Have you thought about your butt, who's gonna tear it in two?/We've never had it so good, uh huh, we're out of the woods/And if you can't detect the sarcasm, you've misunderstood.

But the video....? It makes me very uncomfortable, and I'm not okay with it.

On Joss Whedon, White Feminism And Intersectionality Failures

Joss Whedon gave a speech the other day and had some things to say about feminism. A lot of it was problematic, but I won't go into it here because it's already been said, and the fact that he said it is only vaugely related to the point I want to make.

See, Joss Whedon is free to say whatever he likes about feminism in a "freedom of speech" kind of way. That is his right. But the arrogance of suggesting that a movement centered on women and their efforts to advance their own causes should refocus itself based on the self-serving suggestion of a cishet white guy is, well.... astronomical.

But truthfully, the bigger issue here is not what he said, but the reaction to what he said. While I don't agree with the nitty gritty of his reasoning, there are legitimate complaints to be made about the word feminist, and the feminist movement. Women of Colour, and black women specifically, created womanism for this very reason; to address the issues that were unique to their intersectional experience as women who were also not white. WoC have been pointing out the problems inherent in feminism for YEARS, and have been summarily ignored. And yet, a cishet white guy tangentially brings up those issues and suddenly it's revolutionary information. Suddenly we should be praising a white male ally for his perfect feminism for parroting what WoC have been saying forever. It's bullshit that contributes to the erasure of WoC from the feminist movement and privileges someone with literally ALL THE PRIVILEGES over the women who the movement was actually meant to benefit.

This attitude is significant because Joss Whedon's speech wasn't just covered, it was covered extensively and lauded as a revolutionary act. It was presented as an intellectual achievement worthy of praise, when almost the exact sentiments have long been championed by WoC to no avail. For a day and half, the white feminist movement hung its hat on the glorification of a white guy who assigned himself the feminist ally label. I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer, but as I recall, things didn't turn out so well the last time that happened.

#AHSCoven: Gabourey Sidibe's Queenie As An Embodiment Of The "Strong Black Woman" Stereotype

Last week, I read a great article by Nichole Perkins on Buzzfeed that talked about the way the character development of the leading ladies of both Scandal and Sleepy Hollow were working towards dismantling the harmful depictions of "strong black women" in media. It was a great read, and I loved that someone else shared my conclusions about Olivia Pope's characterization. 

What stuck out to me however, was Perkins' characterization of Gabourey Sidibe's character Queenie on American Horror Story Coven as a negative embodiment of the "strong black woman" stereotype. She says:

"Then there is Gabourey Sidibe as Queenie on American Horror Story: Coven, a “human voodoo doll” whose supernatural power is the inability to feel pain, even as she inflicts said pain onto someone else. [...] These Strong Black Women feel no emotional pain, tolerate severe physical trauma with no reaction, and menace others with stone faces."

I love American Horror Story Coven. But even though I had immediately made the connection to the racialized violence against black bodies this season, I hadn't picked up on Perkins' perspective of Queenie as a SBW. After seeing last week's episode "The Replacements", I not only vehemently agree with her, I want to expand on her observations.

Criticism: In Response To Thought Catalog's Insipid Article About Blackface

I really, REALLY didn't want to post about Blackface Christmas this year, but after this, I couldn't help myself. This morning, Thought Catalog posted a completely tone deaf piece on Julianne Hough's blackface misstep, written by one Kelly Rheel. (I'm not linking to it because fuck TC) In the piece, Kelly argued that Julianne's blackface "isn't really blackface" because blackface only looks like this apparently, and anything less is just "trying to have some fun." She also argued that though she is white, and doesn't understand the black experience, she didn't think this was an appropriate time for racial outrage. She posits that the Trayvon Martin blackface costume was problematic and racist (it most definitely was), but not Julianne's costume. She was dressing as a character you see.

Yes. That happened.

There's so much privilege to unpack when it comes to a white woman deciding that she has the ability to decided what should or shouldn't be offensive to people who have been and continue to be systematically oppressed. It almost pained to even think about how anyone is that wilfully obtuse and thinks nothing of sharing such an asinine perspective online with her name attached.

[Movie Review] Gravity: A World Filled With Awe

These days, I approach all media critically as a matter of course. It comes naturally to me to look for the symbolism and coded messages present in any body of work. When people create, it's with an eye for transmitting a message; a way to convey their interpretation of the world, and the exciting thing about television and films is delving into those varied perspectives.

But I've just come from seeing the film Gravity for the first time and all I can say is, "WOW." I'm not entirely sure I'm able to form a cohesive thought about this movie because I'm so in awe.

The entire movie is like a slow motion ballet; elegant and graceful. The film's stars Sandra Bullock and George Clooney, float through the air like lithe nymphs acting out a play. And yet there are moments of such emotional intensity that it's almost unbearable. Gravity is beautifully shot. It is absolutely wonderful to look at, and it really gives weight to the majesty and vast intensity of space. So much of the movie is simply a stark contemplation on our individual insignificance amidst the expansiveness of the universe.

Alfonso Cuarón has created here a world that is familiar and yet completely foreign. He will not allow you to escape the profoundness of the world as seen from above, and he will force you to observe in awe, the spectacle that is our lowly place in the universe.

What struck me too, was the overwhelming silence of the film that spoke to the loneliness of Sandra Bullock's character, "Ryan Stone." There are several moments where her panicked breathing is the only thing between the audience and an utterly complete lack of sound. Her sheer terror echoes all around you, and you can't escape it. The audience's first person perspective of her experience at several points heightened the suspense, and forced you to engage the film with all your senses. I paid rapt attention throughout, which is rare for me as I'm usually analyzing things internally as they unfold onscreen. This time, it was all I could do to take it in.

Plot-wise, this entire movie could probably be summed up on one sentence, but critically, there is so much here about the human condition that I genuinely don't feel qualified to talk about it. There is a reverence here; a respectful understanding that there is so much more than ourselves in play. This is a movie about disaster yes, but not the one you think. Gravity deals with not just the disaster, but the aftermath; how do you continue to survive when you think all hope is lost? How do you push forward when you've exhausted your options? How do you fight when you have nothing left to live for?

We get to the heart of these questions primarily through Bullock's character, and boy does her performance deliver. We learn that Ryan Stone had a daughter who died in an accident, and that her death has weighed heavily on her heart, keeping her from moving forward and from pushing through; from doing any more than is required. But by the end of the film, Stone has reached deep into the depths of her pain to find the will to live. To fight against all odds to survive and to come out on the other side of her pain. Her final triumph makes the previous tribulations seem worth it; she found the strength to survive. Her struggles meant something.

All in all, I'm glad that I gave the film a shot. It has sent me into a contemplative tailspin for which I'm grateful. Gravity is an exquisitely beautiful and haunting translation of the trials of the human spirit. It will stay with you in a way that no other film ever has.

Glambition [Episode #5]: The Finale

It's the finale! Here's the rundown:

Sarah Jane (wisely) decides to sign on as the face of Fantasy. I'm glad (though, not surprised) that she took it, because it's a great move for her. It's something she might actually be able to build a career on, as opposed to trying to wing it with her "Visa face". Working with Fantasy lets her do what she's always been doing (party, look cute) and make some money. It also lets her dip into planning events, which she's expressed a mild interest in. To me, it's a no-brainer. Have fun, get paid, add a few lines to your resume. Win-win! It was a very smart decision and I hope she finds success. I was amused though by the completely transparent way that she name dropped Anya. It's superficial on its face, and won't endear her to people outside her immediate social circle, but honestly, that's all tied up in the social politics of self in relation to race and class, but I won't say anything more on that other than to point your eyes to this little rant.

I'm going to give Bianca the benefit of the doubt that she told Leah what Isoke said out of concern for her friend. They are old friends, and seem to have a pretty close relationship. If I were Leah, I'd want her to tell me, so I can't really fault Bianca. I do think that it there was a layer of producer intervention involved in having Bianca confront Isoke in front of Leah; it felt so contrived and staged, but I suppose in reality it is a conversation that would have happened eventually. I also think that Bianca made some great points in her defense of Leah. Trinidad is a VERY small place, and a damaged reputation can and does impact how likely you are to work in future. Isoke was out of line, and it was cool that Bianca recognized that and stood up for her friend.

Glambition [Episode #4]: Stay In Your Lane

Alas, I'm late again! No shade, but I simply had better things to do than slave over a Glambition blog post... Whoops! In any case, I've watched the rest of the season, and I do some thoughts. Thoughts everywhere!

Most of the drama this episode centered on a tiff between Isoke and Leah. Firstly, we see Leah house-hunting for a place closer to the heart of Port-of-Spain (the capital of Trinidad and Tobago) so that she can be closer to her business ventures. Predictably, she's caught between a place she loves and can't afford, and a places she can afford, but doesn't love. But, either way, she gave us the line of the night: "Champagne tastes with mauby pockets." Love it! I might have to take that as my personal motto, because lord knows it describes my life!

Later, Leah meets up with Bianca, and talks a little bit about being Ms. World, and her perception of Sarah Jane's distress that she can't "do anything" because people expect her to be a pageant queen. (insert eyeroll...) Leah does make some salient point however, and I really appreciated her self awareness about knowing that the expectations of a beauty queen will often be at odds with the reality, forcing them to deal with an undue amount of scrutiny and criticism. My real problem with Sarah Jane is that she seems to want to co-opt that experience for herself, when in reality, the 4th place queen probably doesn't have it that hard...

On Why I Hate Taking Public Transportation In Trinidad

People think that I'm a princess because I don't like to use public transportation. I get teased about it all the time, and it doesn't help that my sense of navigation is abysmal. People think that I'm well-off and don't travel because I don't want to "slum it." Well, they're wrong on all counts.

I do not like to use public transportation because doing so makes me feel unsafe. I hate travelling, and I only do it when absolutely necessary. I will make plans around whether or not I will be required to travel. I will sometimes abandon plans altogether if it means travelling through a certain place or past a certain hour. And honestly? I'm just lucky. I have sometime-y access to a personal vehicle, and a flexible enough schedule that I can make arrangements arounds it's availability to me. Lots of women don't have that privilege or that choice, but it's what I do to ensure my own sense of personal security and control.

When I was younger, I thought maxi taxis (the vehicles in the picture above, and one of the main modes of transportation in Trinidad) were AMAZING. At eight years old, there was nothing I wanted more than to ride in one. They were alluring and strange and I thought they were cool. But I'm an only girl. My parents refused to allow me to travel because it "wasn't safe." A small female child travelling alone in a school uniform would make me a target for harassment or buggery. And I believed them. Because when you're eight, your parents are superhuman and they know everything.

As a result, I didn't really start using public transportation with any regularity until I was around 16 and I was sneaking off to my boyfriend's house. (Yes, that happened. I was a harlot. Deal with it.) And it only was then that I realized that even though my parents' fears for me were largely exaggerated, they weren't entirely unfounded.

#Scandal: Hell Hath No Fury Like Mellie Grant Scorned

Last night's episode of Scandal was too much to handle on a number of levels. There was a ton going on, and if you blinked too often you probably missed half of it. But what stood out the most to me this week, was the incremental development of the souring relationship between FLOTUS Mellie Grant, and her husband, POTUS Fitzgerald Grant. 

At the beginning of the season, I made a case for why Mellie doesn't deserve the bad reputation she's gotten, and this week, I think we got a little more information to back up my case. Bellamy Young's fantastic performance gave Mellie an emotional depth that I'm so glad we're finally getting to explore. 

Firstly, Mellie still loves Fitz. There is no question about that. It is fact, and it becomes even more obvious as the weeks roll by. For whatever reason, Mellie loves her abusive asshole of a husband, and she wants things to work out between them. To me this episode, specifically her drunk speech in the dining room, shows that Mellie is finally beginning to realize that there is nothing left for her to do. There is nothing she can do that will ever make Fitz love her the way that he loves Olivia, and it's making her bitter and hard. 

Glambition [Episode #3]: The Business of Fashion

I'm two weeks late on this review so I'll try to make it short and sweet. It helps that most of the focus this week on was the professional pursuits of the women, rather than on interpersonal drama. Thank God for small mercies. Let's get down to business.

Isoke is still trying to position herself as a worthy successor to her father's business, and it seems as though she's getting considerable pushback from father's girlfriend. I appreciate that she's trying to step up. I don't know the history of her familial relations or the business' history, so I can't comment on whether or not she makes a good fit as a business leader, but she seems very determined to elevate the company from local parlour to international brand. That's exactly the kind of vision and forethought that you need in business, and it certainly tilts the scales in her favour. Isoke seems determined and driven, and that alone bodes well for her.

Work B*tch: Compliment Or Command?

This post is painfully overdue! It's been about a week and a half now since Britney's video for her new single "Work Bitch" dropped, and I have some thoughts! Many thoughts. Critical commentary thoughts! Let's get cracking.

This song is terrible. There's no getting around that. But I actually really like the video; it's fun and energetic, and it at least makes a show of trying to return Britney to her former glory, but it never quite manages to get to "peak Britney."

Firstly, the dancing. Oh good lord the dancing.... Britney's always been a bit of a one trick pony when it comes to choreography. She's lots of arms, torso and face. That's fine, but she's been doing that since 1999, and her repertoire needs a little updating. But all of that could be overlooked if she still had the same intensity of Toxic era Britney. I know that she has a knee injury a few years back and hasn't really been as physically capable since, but there's a fire in her eyes that's been missing since her breakdown. 

Don't get me wrong, Britney looks better here than she has in a really long time. Physically she's back in fighting shape, but she looks like she'd rather be anywhere but where she is. She's no longer the Britney who enjoyed entertaining us. Which brings me to the main point of this post:                                   

Although Britney has co-opted drag culture slang for her new single, she's completely flipped the context of the epithet. In drag, "work bitch!" is a compliment akin to "You know you look good! Get on with your bad self!" It's encouragement; it's praise.

With Britney's new single, she presents "Work Bitch!" as a command, especially in the context of the lyrics of the song. Here, "Work bitch" serves as a command; a warning. You want a hot body? You want a Bugatti? You better work bitch. In a way it speaks to her work ethic. She knows that if you want the finer things, you have to be prepared to work for them. On the same token however, it reads like a reprimand and a reminder. Britney is her family's cash cow. This club anthem is actually a call to arms for herself; a blaring reminder that she has no choice but to keep the monkey dancing if want to maintain her lifestyle. Britney has publicly expressed that she's no longer comfortable with her sexy image and that she'd rather just be at home with her boys, but for whatever reason, she's unable to do that.

So is this song an empowering anthem, or a metaphorical cattle prod reminding her to keep going? What do you think?

#Scandal: I Know That Olivia Pope Isn't Perfect; It's Part Of The Reason I Love Her

It irks me that people (usually black men) keep saying that black women shouldn't love Olivia Pope because she is flawed. "Flawed" in this case usually equals "having an affair with a white guy". They don't realize it, but the concentrated hate that they hold for her is steeped in a very specific kind of racialized misogyny. Walter White was no hero, but somehow we managed to love him. Dexter was a serial killer and yet, we lauded him too. What do they have in common? You guessed it. Men. White men. Who also happened to be anti-hero characters whose virtues were valued alongside their flaws. But I'm going to set that aside for now.

I'm a black woman and I LOVE Scandal. I am not blind to Olivia's flaws. I love her because she has flaws. 

Black women are so severely underrepresented in media that Kerry Washington's role has garnered a considerable amount of attention simply because she is a black woman in a lead role of a network television show. And because she remains the only black female lead on primetime (Megan Good's Deception unfortunately didn't get picked up for a second season) she is expected to be everything for everybody. But Aunty Shonda rebukes your bullshit notions of black respectability, and instead, has created Olivia Pope as a fully fleshed out person. She is neither completely good nor completely evil; neither stark black nor brilliant white. Olivia Pope is a beautiful mix of all the eternal shades of grey. She is composed of both light and dark. She is often morally ambiguous. Like a real person.

I Am A Person With Feelings [Not A Fountain Of Infinite Knowledge]: More On Quitting Jezebel

I had originally planned to do a full and proper follow-up piece, but in doing my research (yes, I do my research so I can back my shit up) I ended up down a rabbit hole that basically demonstrated why wasting my time rebutting would be pointless. This thing with Jezebel.... it's happened before, and it'll happen again. Nothing that I could ever do on that site will change the fact that they Jezebel is not intersectional because it does not want to be intersectional. It's not hard to instigate a paradigm shift, not really. Not when you have so many WoC speaking up, reading and willing to tell their stories. 

Jezebel is not intersectional because intersectionality is not cool. It's not profitable. It's too gauche to give a voice to all the dirty brown poors. It took all of this to make me finally see that, but now that I have, I know that I'm right. 

I decided I wouldn't rebut, but I ended up vomiting my displeasure all out on twitter anyway, so I'm posting the Storify after the jump. The most important point I wanted to get across was that I'm not doing this because I think I know everything. I will freely admit to be being blind to most of this until SIFWW blew up. But in that time, I've done the work and the learning and I continue to do it everyday, by surrounding myself digitally with women who know more than I do. It's not impossible for white feminism to do the work too. It's not my job to educate well meaning white folk. You have the same google I do. 

And I want people to understand that I talk about this stuff because it affects my LIFE. It affects the way people view me. It affects the way I'm permitted to move through this world. This shit is important to me, and it bums me out that all that white feminism does is pay lip service to WoC, while expecting full support for their issues. I have been in tears over this stuff more than once. I'm very sensitive and it affects me significantly. I don't want to subject myself to something that is making me physically unwell, so I'm not going to. 

So yes, I'm done with white feminism. For those of you white feminists who understand the importance of intersectionality, keep pushing back. Keep holding each other accountable. Keep supporting the work of WoC, and stop expecting them to be a fountain of knowledge for your benefit.

Professor Google's office is open 24/7. Consult him.

The Hardest Word To Say Is Goodbye: Why I'm Quitting Jezebel

via Natalie Dee

Last night I quit Jezebel. It sounds like a dumb thing to be writing about, but for me, it's really, really significant.

I'm 23. I'm black. I'm West Indian. I didn't have a lot of exposure to feminism growing up. I cringe when I recall the things that I said about other women when I was a freshman in college, and the attitudes that I had towards sexuality and womanhood. I went to a Catholic school in a country that is still largely misogynistic. It was pretty much a given that I'd grown up to be an anti-woman little shit.

But then I found Jezebel. I found Jezebel and I started reading. I'm the kind of person who just likes to know things, so perusing the site pre-Kinja was like a revelation to me. All of a sudden I had this entire vocabulary to explain the little microagressions that I'd faced all my life, and a community of women who were engaged in parsing those issues. I could finally vocalize why I felt an inconsolable rage when I was tone policed. I knew how to defend myself against slut shaming. I could explain in detail why rape culture was so insidious and why restrictions on reproductive freedom were a devastating step backwards for women.

Jezebel taught me how to be a woman.
And then it taught me that it didn't care about the kind of woman that I am.

In a weird way, it feels like being betrayed by a trusted friend. I've been a regular on Jezebel since my junior year of college in 2010, and a fervent feminist ever since. But little by little I could see that there wasn't much consideration for a feminism that included the diversity of women. There was a blatant disregard for the difference in perspective that WoC have in relation to various issues by virtue of their different experiences of the world.

And then Kinja happened, and I was locked out of Groupthink during the switchover. I finally got posting privileges in July 2013. And then Solidarity Is For White Women happened and I talked about it. And Jezebel ignored it. So I talked about it some more.

In the three months since I've had posting privileges, all of the following have happened:

1. Solidarity Is For White Women called out Jezebel's complicity in allowing H. Schwyzer to become a prolific voice in online feminism, despite his continued abuse of WoC.
2. Instead of apologizing for their mistake or even acknowledging the situation in any way, Jessica Coen wrote a satirical post about the stages of grief, effectively trying to absolve herself of any responsibility.
3. When Jezebel did finally acknowledge SIFWW, rather than take the opportunity to address their role in the situation, they simply aggregated tweets without context, and then forgot to mention the WoC who started the hashtag.
4. Then Miley at the VMA's happened. And instead of talking about both the way that Miley was needlessly slut shamed and the way in which Miley's performance perpetuated racist narratives, they ignored the racist aspects of her performance altogether.
5. Pissed, I tackled it myself, and then Miley-Gate happened, and they ignored that too, instead choosing to recycle and old piece of one of the few WoC on staff, and tacking on the name of the white EIC.
6. And yesterday, a month later, they published a piece that made light of and mocked Chris Brown's admission that he had lost his virginity to a much older girl when he was eight. That's right. They diminished the fact that Chris Brown was RAPED AS A CHILD, because flagellating the misbehaving black man is more important than sympathy and support for a rape victim.

Three months. Three MONTHS! That's how many times Jezebel has majorly fucked up in three months. And it started to feel like I was just banging my head against a brick wall. It was getting pretty clear that Jessica Coen & Co. didn't care about the commentariat said and why should they? Jezebel isn't about feminism, or change, or making a difference. It's about page views and clicks. It's about money. "Corporate Feminism" at its finest. If it helps them hit their numbers, they're going to continue to troll the very readers that make their success possible. I refuse to be part of it anymore. Jezebel has become like that toxic friend you keep around out of nostalgia for the days when things were better. Fuck that. Time to cut the fat.

I know that Jessica Coen will likely never see this, and if she does she won't give a shit, but I sincerely hope she gets her shit together. I know that Jezebel likes to pass the buck and claim that they aren't technically a feminist site, but it is staffed by women who identify as feminist. And if they're as feminist as they claim to be, none of this stuff would be acceptable. So this is me calling you out Jessica. Get your shit the fuck together. Make some changes. Expand your perspective. Improve. Do better. Either do that, or never tackle another feminist issue on Jezebel ever again. Feminism isn't situational. Either you're feminist or you're not. Right now, you're not, but you keep pretending to be. Stop it.

It'll be hard to just drop Jezebel cold turkey, especially since it's my main source for feminist news (maybe that was the problem!) but I'll survive. As I said last night:

"I'm not letting them make any more money off my page views. I'm not enabling them to keep demonstrating that people who look like me are worthless to them. [...] It genuinely hurts me to feel like a space that is supposed to be feminist and inclusive, continuously rejects intersectionality and routinely reasserts the hierarchy of privilege. I'm not game for that."

So instead of spending all my time trying to strike back at Jezebel's bullshit, I'm going to get my own shit together. I'm gonna get back to my photography and I'm going to start spending more time on feminist websites that actually understand what feminism should be. Because they exist. There are spaces on the internet that allow diverse voices to be heard. Here's to signal boosting:

Gradient Lair

Racism School

Red Light Politics

The Angry Black Woman

What Privilege?

Critical Writings by Janet Mock

Chescaleigh

The Bad Dominicana

PostBourgie

Native Appropriations

Critical Spontaneity

Are Women Human

Karnythia

Racialicious

Black Girl Dangerous
The Crunk Feminist Collective

In addition to supporting the work of WoC, I'll continue to follow them on twitter. I have learned so much from so many incredible women just by sitting back an listening; just by watching the conversations unfold organically and genuinely considering perspective I'd never come across before. 

So I'm gone. I will dearly miss the lovely ladies of Groupthink, but they know they're all welcome here should they wish to come. I won't miss Jezebel. 

Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Fuck You Gawker Media For Victim-Blaming Chris Brown

Because it was apparently so much fucking fun when Jezebel did it, Gawker just doubled down on their "Chris Brown is an asshole for getting raped at 8 years old" narrative.

I.... See, this is one of those things that makes PoC go on protracted rants about white people. And I know it's not all white people, so please don't start. But the the way that CB has been treated in the media since he beat Rihanna has been tinged with racism from the very start (didn't Charlie Sheen SHOOT a woman?!?!?) and this just confirms that the reason white liberals love to shit on Chris Brown is not because he's an abuser, but because he's a BLACK abuser. 

In the Guardian article that both pieces reference, CB admits to having been RAPED. He says he lost his virginity at 8. THAT IS RAPE IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD. But it's okay to doubt his story or minimize his abuse because he's black. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that he gets a pass for his violent behavior in the time since because of his abuse. He most definitely doesn't. But one can have sympathy for CB the rape victim as well as  condemn CB the domestic abuser. They are not mutually exclusive.

I was so pissed yesterday at Jezebel's piece that I ranted all over the comments section, but to see Gawker not only NOT apologize but continue the narrative? That's it. I think I'm done. I don't know that I can go back to that site anymore. If this were a female starlet that angle would NEVER have been taken, but apparently it's okay to blame a black man for the abuse he suffered AS A MOTHERFUCKING CHILD. What's his face (Dawkins?) made some off-colour comment about pedophilia being fine the other day, and everyone was tripping over themselves to excuse or clarify his words. Black man says something that strongly indicates his internalization of gendered myths of sex in order to cope with abuse and he's an asshole.

Fuck that. Fuck Jezebel. Fuck Gawker. 

Fuck all of you racist assholes who are gonna try to justify why treating CB like shit about his sexual abuse is fine, and genuinely believe it has nothing to do with your racist ideologies.

I'm done.

#Womanifesto: Embracing Womanism; Rejecting The Status Quo

I am black and I am a woman.

I reject the notion that I can or should, ever separate the two, because my experiences as a woman are modified and amplified by my blackness, and vice versa.

I reject the notion that my sexuality does not exist on my own terms. My pleasure exists for me and I use it and claim it however and how often I see fit. I will not be judged for excercising the sexual freedom that follows inherently from bodily autonomy.

I reject the notion that I am inherently sexual or sexually available because of my black womanhood. I take it upon myself to be sexual when and with whom I wish, and reserve the right to refuse to be sexual or sexualized against my will.

I reject the notion that my sexuality is a commodity to be fetishized or demonized by virtue of my blackness. My sex is not deviant because it is not white.

I reject the notion that my body is not my own. I will refuse to be subjected to physical contact that is unwanted or unsolicited, whether it be the petting of my dreadlocks or the squeezing of my ass. I am not an exoticism that exists for the entertainment of others.

I reject the notion that there is a "right way" to be a black woman and I will not tolerate the projection of other people's ideas of black womanhood being used to police the display of my body, or my expression of myself.

I reject the notion that my chosen expression of self is a comment on my self worth. I reserve the right to be whomever I decide is my best self, without having my self esteem devalued because of its proximity to my tattoos, piercings or ample behind.

I reject the notion that my body's natural state is unfit for public consumption because it does not conform to Eurocentric ideals of beauty. I will not be forced to straighten my hair in order to be considered worthy of respect, or diminish the visible curves of my body in order to be deemed virtuous.

I reject the notion that my intellectual perspective is less valid because of my black womanhood. I will stand up for myself and voice my concerns whenever it is apparent that my mind is being devalued by virtue of being housed in a black female body.

I reject the notion that I must comply with or be deferent to, white womanhood. I will not measure myself against ideals that I have been genetically excluded from and therefore cannot ever fully achieve.

I reject the notion that I am worthless by virtue of my refusal to comply with the patriarchal ideals of white womanhood. I deserve the same protection, respect and reverence that is automatically conferred unto white female bodies.

I reject the notion that I must comply with or be deferent to black manhood. I will not ignore or accept the sexism or misogynoir I am subjected to by black men simply because they are also black.

I reject the notion that I am not allowed access to the full spectrum of human emotion. I will not deny my rightful anger or occasional weaknesses, nor allow them to be dismissed or invalidated because of racist ideas of black female strength and stoicism.

I reject the notion that I am responsible for my own victimization. I will not be told that I could have avoided the pain that was inflicted upon me by another person if I had been better at expressing the right kind of femininity.

I reject the notion that I have a responsibility to be a representative example of black womanhood. I am an individual with unique thoughts and feelings, and I am allowed to dissent from the mainstream perspective.

I reject the notion that I must be silent in the face of my oppression, or that my concerns are less valid because they are specific to black womanhood. I refuse to accept violence in the form of sexism or racism.

I reject the notion that I should wait my turn to have my intersections of oppression addressed. I will continue to fight to be included in spaces that expect support from me, but do not expect to support me in turn.

I reject the notion that I should stop being vocal about the issues that affect me, or that I am "speaking too much" about the oppression that I face. I will not be silenced by the systems of white patriarchal power that seek to make me fall in line.

"If you are silent about your pain, they will kill you and say you liked it." -Zora Neale Hurston

I am a black woman.
I will not be silent.
I exist for me.