Sound Off: This Is Not How Apologies Work IFB [UPDATED]

via Independent Fashion Bloggers

Three years ago I joined an online community that I hoped would help me to refine my ideas about fashion and hone my ability to discuss its various intricacies in an online medium. Today, I am officially severing ties with IFB and moving on. Because after what has transpired over the last few days, I can no longer remain a part of that community and also remain in good conscience.

You may have heard by now about IFB's poorly-received "article" on Bloggers and Body Image and the incredibly ill-advised follow up, An Open Letter to the IFB Community. The first, written by staff writer Taylor Davies insinuated, likely unintentionally that the "top-tier" of fashion blogging remains white-washed and homogeneous in terms of size and age because more diverse niche bloggers were not disciplined enough to post regularly and produce compelling content. When the commentariat effectively revolted, the post was edited to remove the offending statements, and the site's founder Jennine Jacob immediately went on the defensive in the comment section, attacking readers and even going so far as to delete dissenting comments that offended her. A few days later (I'm not sure how many because IFB does not date its posts) the Open Letter surfaced. Penned by Jennine, the diatribe amounted to "Don't be mean to me. You are a bully. It's my blog, and I'll do what I want." Again revolt.

There are a number of things that bothered me about this incident. Firstly, WTF IFB? How did that article ever get through to publication? The implications contained in Taylor's article, (the original version of which you can find here) were racist, classist and size-ist. And what makes it worse, is that their defense of their position makes it clear that they really couldn't see that. The defensive tone that Jennine took in the comments of the original article and in the open letter show that she learned nothing from the situation. The fact that she opted to edit the article rather than post a retraction is rather telling; why remove the content if you claim to stand by it? And how dare you berate your readers for calling you out on your tone-deafness and refusal to acknowledge racial and economic privilege? How can you claim to be cultivating a community if you refuse to engage your community? A dissenting opinion does not equate bullying. You want to know what bullying looks like? Go look up Anita Sarkesian. The fact that you even made that comparison leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Perhaps Jennine needs to take a closer look at IFB's content. If the majority of your readers are saying that something is offensive, and saying so articulately, chances are, it's offensive. The correct thing to do at that point is to apologize and learn from the experience, not double down on your bad decision and further alienate your readers. It doesn't matter what your intent was. The fact is that you offended your readers. Intentional or otherwise, you offended your readers. The only acceptable thing to do is apologize. That Open Letter? THAT IS NOT HOW APOLOGIES WORK IFB.

This was such a missed opportunity to start a discussion that needed to be had. Fashion blogging used to be diverse. Now, it is essentially second-hand PR for the established industry. Now it reflects the standards that women were trying to rebuff when they started their blogs in the first place. The bloggers who succeed are thin, white and blonde, and often have the disposable capital to spend on designer clothing. There is hardly a face of colour, or a woman over size 2 in sight. Why is that? What can we do to combat it?

What annoys me most about this incident is that this has been brewing for months. MONTHS.I think in all, Bella Q of Citizen Rosebud captured my general feelings on the issue most concisely. IFB has become a place where only the young, thin, and traditionally beautiful will be acknowledged, and the "follow me" trolls dominate. It is now a website full of quickly churned out fluff pieces that are poorly researched and badly written. It is no longer the resource it purports to be, and I find it interesting that it has taken this incident for other bloggers to voice, essentially the same opinion.

Many of the comments I made on the original article yesterday were deleted, but I had enough foresight to save this one. It briefly covers most of what irks me about these articles, the backlash and the response:

“Other people have said it already, but I’m annoyed enough by this, yet another of IFB’s poorly researched and offensively written articles to say this myself.

If IFB is so concerned that there are no non-white/skinny/model-esque bloggers in the “top tier” (is that even a thing? I mean really…) then why don’t you FEATURE MORE OF THEM? Your blogger spotlights all feature the same type of woman. Your ads and promo images for IFB Con, and for articles are all slim, young, white women. You are actively contributing to the problem that you claim to be so concerned about.

And to insinuate that minority/niche bloggers are not featured because their blogs are not up to par? Really? That’s what you’re going to go with?

It is convenient that you’ve neglected to acknowledge the social and political factors that contribute to things like this. Model-esque bloggers get more sponsorships because they reinforce the already established hierarchy within fashion. It’s not rocket-science. Bloggers who don’t fit that image will ALWAYS be at a disadvantage. That’s how privilege works ladies.

You’ve also only touched on one aspect of the situation. “Real women” are not just women who wear a size 14. We come in all shapes and sizes, all race and ethnicities, all different cultures and beliefs, but you know, let’s not be mean to the popular, successful and yes, skinny bloggers because they’re more disciplined than us. That would mean we’re just jealous.

IFB loves to posit itself as an all-inclusive venue where bloggers can come for a sense of community, but over the last year especially, you have actively been alienating the base that built you. You have the power to FIX THIS PROBLEM. Instead, you ride the coattails of those who are already established. Nothing is going to change unless you change it. We have been doing our part by creating our blogs and sharing out experiences. If even places like IFB shut us out, where do we go? There is a reason I don’t read any of those blogs anymore. They reflect nothing of myself or my life or my experience. But there are blogs that do. Why not feature those blogs? Why not direct the community at large to bloggers who are doing great things and deserve to be recognized instead of reinforcing the same old tropes?

All in all, this was a poor excuse for an article. You want to be taken seriously as journalists? Then you need to do the work that journalists do. You need research, facts, references. You can’t just pull shit out of midair.”

There is honestly not very much more that I want to say on the issue. I credit my miniature tantrum back in May and subsequent change in direction to IFB's increased tone of elitism and exclusion. I literally decided that I hated fashion blogging because IFB made me feel as though the content I was producing was simply not in line with the ideal of fashion blogging (read: personal style blogging), and therefore would never be creditable. In my head, I was following instructions, and still falling flat on my face. And honestly, I've been MUCH more satisfied with my blog's content since I made that shift.

I'm angry, and it's taking a lot of restraint to keep the profanities from slipping out, but in the end, I am glad that I found IFB. In the early days it was an excellent resource, and I found and followed some amazing, thoughtful and nuanced bloggers, many of whom I still follow today. Now however, it has become a shilling machine that idolizes the same five bloggers and exalts them every chance it gets. This does not sit well with me.

Had you heard about IFB-gate? How did you respond to the article and letter? What are your thoughts, and do you think Jennine handled the situation well? How would you have handled the situation differently? What do you think IFB should do moving forward? Sound Off in the comments below!

 For some other great takes on the issue, check out these posts. Be sure to read the comments and contribute to the ongoing discussion:

It's Not You, It's Me: An Open Letter to IFB by Citizen Rosebud 

IFB says Not Enough Women who Aren't Thin, Beautiful Have High Quality Blogs by Shamepuff

IFB Founder Jennine Jacob Thinks You Didn't Read the Post Correctly, Bullies by Shamepuff

White Slim and Pretty- My Response to IFB's Blogging and Body Image by Gorgeous in Grey

Breaking the Silence: A Response to Bloggers and Body Image by Love Brown Sugar

Race, Body Image, and the Conversation Bloggers Should be Having by Those Graces

IFB: When Good Sites Go Bad by A Sunny Day in LA

Requesting Your Assistance by Wardrobe Oxygen

Removing Myself from IFB by Dreafashionista

Diversity in the Blogging Industry by Deejay Speaks

Bloggers and Body Image Brouhaha from the Blog Trends forums
What Does the Industry Have to Do With It? Name Your Success by Profresh Style

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UPDATE (17.8.12 | 3:13PM): Taylor has since posted an apology to IFB's readers over the fallout from her post. While I have never been Taylor's biggest fan, I think that her apology was genuine and articulate, and I truly appreciate that. To me, her letter shows that she has in fact been listening objectively to the conversations being had about her post, and has been taking the time to examine her role in the situation, assess how she can improve, and strive to do so. After the heavy criticism she has faced, that takes humility and maturity, and I respect that. 

HOWEVER, I am still less than pleased with Jennine Jacob. More than Taylor, she owes the community an apology for her disregard of their opinions and refusal to be open to constructive criticism, all while shelling tickets for IFBCon that cost between $125 and $600. Truthfully, I blame her for this dust-up more than I blame Taylor, because as the editor of what she considers to be a legitimate publication, she has a greater responsibility to make sure things like this don't happen in the first place. I appreciate Taylor's apology and in my book she is forgiven, but if Jennine still thinks that it is okay to selectively shut out her readership, then there is no reason to believe that the elitist climate that has developed will be changing any time soon, and I will still be leaving.

UPDATE (17.8.12 | 3:21PM): IFB has cross-posted this response by Nicolette Mason to the controversy. Nicolette's name came up frequently in the discussions rebutting the idea that quality blogs by minority bloggers do not exist. It is very well written and really touches on what bothers me about Jennine's open letter. She uses the Audre Lorde quote "It is not the responsibility of the oppressed to educate the oppressor about their mistakes" to concisely identify why the original insinuations were so hurtful. I urge you to go read it.

UPDATE (17.8.12 | 3:50 PM): Bella Q of The Citizen Rosebud has posted a call to action on her blog. With the IFB controversy winding down, we bloggers have to assess what we're left with, and how we can start changing the landscape to reflect more of the real-life diversity in fashion blogging. Bella proposes that we spend the next two weeks seeking out and promoting bloggers that we think are of "top-tier" quality in an effort to acknowledge our own role in this mass internet revolt. Tweet, comment, and post about the fashion bloggers you think best represent you, and let's get back to the diversity we started out with.

UPDATE (19.8.12 | 8:25PM): Jennine Jacob has posted an apology for the controversy surrounding IFB. I personally find it a little vague and underwhelming, but I am still upset, and obviously biased.However, you should read it and decide for yourself. I do commend her for apologizing though, and an incomplete apology is  better than none at all. I can only hope that Jennine has truly learned from this situation, and will in fact strive to do better in the future.

Misc. Music: Pound the Alarm by Nicki Minaj

Photo via VH1

It's here! Nicki Minaj's video for her fourth single Pound the Alarm has finally been released. Filmed entirely in her (read: my) native land of Trinidad and Tobago, the video celebrates Trinidad's annual Carnival (read: NOT Brazil).

My favourite part of watching this video was recognizing every scene. I know where every inch of this video was filmed and that makes me happy and proud. There are so many things that Nicki got right in representing Trinidad with this video and I'd like to highlight them.

Firstly, our national instrument, the steelpan. Regardless of what the world at large thinks, the steelpan was invented in Trinidad and Tobago, and has nothing to do with stereotype of the Rastafarian playing pan on the beaches of Jamaica whatsoever. Next we have a coconut vendor selling his wares on the Queen's Park Savannah with Queen's Royal College framed beautifully in the background. Then, a beautiful montage of different aspects of life in Trinidad, from our nation bird, the Scarlet Ibis, to football in the Savannah and yes, our beautiful beaches.

Now onto the mas! The first half of the video sets up Nicki's romp through Port-of-Spain flanked by stunning costumed local ladies chipping through the streets to the Grand Stand. Naturally, Trinidad is so small that I recognize more than a few of the faces! I also loved that there were so many different races represented throughout the video. It always amuses me that people (usually Americans unfortunately) cannot wrap their heads around the idea of a multiracial society. Well, here you have it: beautiful Trinidadian women of all descents playing mas together with nary a care in the world.

And then there are our Soca stars! We have Machel Montano making a cameo, as well as Bunji Garlin and his Soca Queen Faye-Ann Lyons. There's also our traditional mas or "ole mas". We have your Jab-Jabs, Blue Devils (or Jab Molassie), Dame Lorrianes, Fancy Indians and Moko Jumbies. A dying breed, but part of our culture none the less.

But my favourite part? This awesome shot of Nicki flanked by her Trini cousins, who she invited to participate in the video with her. Any true Trini knows that you "had betta" come see your family when you get home, no matter how soon you'll be leaving again.

This is Trinidad. It isn't all of Trinidad, and it certainly isn't the full picture, but it's the Trinidad that I love. It's the Trinidad that I pined for while I was at school, and it's the Trinidad that the world should see and appreciate. There will be detractors. Trinidad has more than its own share of pessimists and misanthropes, but in light of our recent embarrassments, I'm glad that there is something to counteract the stereotype of ignorant island dwellers. Trinidad is vibrant, and full of life and culture and innovation. This is the Trinidad that we should see, promote and be proud of. This video is an amazing look at an amazing culture. I've never been so proud to see so much red white and black.

I know I'm proud to be Trini 2 de bone.

EDIT: Don't forget to check out this behind the scenes look at the making of Pound the Alarm.

Criticism: In Which I Judge You For Liking The Fifty Shades of Grey Trilogy

So... The Fifty Shades Trilogy. Let's discuss.
Apparently we're calling it "Mommy Porn"?

Unless you've been living under a rock, you've heard of the Fifty Shades Trilogy, and you know that it has exploded in popularity basically overnight. Last count puts it as the fastest selling paperback of all time, edging out J.K. Rowling's (far superior) Harry Potter series.

A lot has been said about the books. Some people love it, and profess that it's forever changed their sex lives. Some think it's simply a poorly written story. Some can't seem to get over the fact that Ana is the world's first 21-year-old luddite, and others refuse to read it entirely. But the narrative that seems to keep getting lost, and the one that I think is most important, is the fact that the Fifty Shades trilogy glorifies abuse. 

Yes, ABUSE. And it's not okay that you're okay with that.

The Fifty Shades Trilogy
via Dorkadore

Before I continue, let me be clear: I am not saying or implying that these novels promote abuse and violence because they depict a relationship that includes BDSM. BDSM within a consenting sexual relationship is NOT abuse. I'll repeat myself because that last part is important. BDSM is not, in and of itself, abuse, and Christian's interest in BDSM is not what makes him an abuser. My opinion about these novels is not based on how these characters choose to get their jollies, but rather on how one half of the couple (Christian) exerts control over the other half (Ana) by emotionally manipulating her into submission. The fact of the matter, is that Christian Grey preys on Ana Steele. He controls every aspect of her life and even goes so far as to legally isolate her, by having her sign a non-disclosure. A non-disclosure for a romantic relationship. Not at all problematic. Additionally, he continually pressure her into giving him more than she feels comfortable with. Date rape. Basically.

Jennifer Armintrout of Sweater for Days and Moves like Jagger has written the best analysis of the abuse in Christian and Ana's relationship that I have seen so far. In it, she details the red flags in their relationship, working from a list in the book How to Spot a Dangerous Man. She writes,

The following "red flags" are from a hand out entitled "Universal Red Flags" taken from a book called How To Spot A Dangerous Man. The instructions read: "Check all the following that apply even if only remotely". Let me share the ones I checked on Ana's behalf:

You wish he would go away, you want to cry, and you want to run away from him. Ana often thinks about how she can "escape" Christian, how she needs to find an exit, how she can't handle being around him because she can't trust herself to think clearly. In just the portion of the book we've reviewed so far, Ana has ended three of her encounters with Christian as a sobbing mess.

You feel bad about yourself when you are around him. One of the clearest indicators, to me, anyway, that there is a power imbalance in their relationship is the fact that Ana constantly compares herself - how she looks, how she acts, how she's dressed - to Christian and his very wealthy lifestyle, and she always finds herself lacking. She often wonders why he's interested in her.

You only feel good about yourself when you are with him. Conversely, Ana doesn't have a nice word to say about herself unless it's confirmed by Christian. When her roommate tells her that she's pretty, Ana interprets it as a patronizing compliment Kate can't possibly mean, but when Christian Grey calls Ana beautiful, she suddenly believes she is. In fact, the only time she believes anything good about herself is when Christian is saying it.

Your value system and his are very different, and it's problematic. I have this phrase I trot out from time to time with my friends who are dating: If you have to "work on" the relationship within the first month, it's not going to work out. Sometimes, people are simply incompatible. Ana and Christian have spent most of their relationship with Ana trying to find ways around giving Christian what he wants, and Christian refusing to bend on his expectations. This is not going to clear up in a few more dates.

Because pain is love. Naturally
via Fanpop

If you're paying attention, the message these novels are trying to send is that "Love will overcome all", that love and passion consume you, and that if you try hard enough, you can change a person into someone better. Better for them, and better for you. But the implicit message is that if you love someone, you should stick it out with them no matter what, even when the situation is no longer safe or comfortable for you. These books are a manual on how to become an abused woman. Ana is unwittingly part of her own subjugation, and ignores her own instincts in order to preserve a relationship that she thinks is the best thing to ever happen to her. She's so completely invested in the fantasy of her relationship with Christian that she doesn't think she deserves him.

Not healthy.

And let's talk about Christian Grey for a moment. Other than his blinding and overwhelming beauty/handsomeness, he seems to have no redeeming qualities. He blatantly manipulates Ana, controls her life, makes choices on her behalf and against her will, all while murmuring a constant string of compliments meant to lull her into resignation. He is aggressively and violently possessive. This is the man that millions of women are fantasizing about? This is the man that women are wishing their husbands would emulate? You should be so lucky that your husband/boyfriend is not like this prick.

The feminist in me cries loud, racking tears that these books are so popular. It makes me sad and angry that so many women (many of whom I respect and admire, mind you) are somehow selectively blind to the sadistic overtones of this romance. I'm genuinely confused as to how anyone, much less a self proclaimed feminist, can read these novels and not take issue with the pretty explicit abuse storyline at play.

It doesn't help that Ana is the world's biggest Mary Sue. She is a vacuous mess of a person who essentially has no purpose but to be infatuated with Christian. Her entire life is consumed with her relationship with him, and she spends all of her time trying to make sense of how to interact with him. Christian is her Manic Pixie Dream Guy, except that contrary to what she thinks, he is far from perfect, and she has learned nothing from him except how to "behave". Ana is the woman that millions of women are wishing they were. This ignorant, naive little wisp of a thing whose entire life revolves around a man and that man's sexual desires.

And I'm supposed to hold Ana Steele up as some sort of progressive example of women's sexual evolution?

Bitch, please.

This is also not about sexual repression or expression. Some have speculated that the reason these novels have flown off the shelves is because women secretly want to be submissive. That's bullshit. Women "secretly" want to be able to say that they like sex, and to be able to talk about it without being shamed for it, and without having to use shitty erotic fiction to do. Sex is amazing and awesome and fun and good for your health. I'm all about women discovering and enjoying their sexuality, and taking charge of it in no uncertain terms. But I'm deeply troubled that so many are using the roadmap set out by a naive and inexperienced young woman and her controlling and dominating boyfriend in order to do so. Believe me, I understand the appeal of this novel. Even so-called vanilla sex is seen as forbidden or taboo to some people, so the idea that people are reading and discussing an erotic novel so widely and so openly is a pretty big deal. It's about the sexual fantasy, and the exploration of themes that we might be to ashamed to broach in our real lives.

Okay, don't buy a book just to burn it. That's a bit much.
via WotsHappening

Unfortunately, it's not just a matter of the fantasy. It's not okay to say, "It's not real! It's about escapism!" This trilogy promotes an emotionally (and borderline physically) abusive relationship as a romantic ideal. Its "heroine" continues to make excuses for her partner, and she rewards his bad behavior against her better judgement. It's the classic domestic violence story, but this time it's wrapped in a pretty bow. You cannot be a person who is against domestic violence and abuse in all its forms, and also be a person who enjoys this novel. The two ideals are inherently mutually incompatible. It's like saying that killing kittens is horrible, but then loving the shit out of a book that is all about how killing kittens is the most awesome and innovative thing you've ever heard of, because dammit, that book makes killing kittens sound AWESOME. Killing kittens in not awesome. Stop telling people that it's cool to kill kittens.

It's not lost on me that these novels began as Twilight fanfiction. The Twilight novels are just as damaging, there just isn't any X-rated sex. Blogger and Youtuber Laci Green put it best in her Dangerous Role Models video. In it, she discusses the framework of Edward and Bella's relationship and how the romance is essentially a farce that renders Bella (the original Mary Sue) powerless, incompetent, and a dependent and obsessive slave to Edward's whims. Bella never once stands up for herself. She has no autonomy in the relationship, and almost literally loses her mind when Edward leaves her. The narrative of this video almost perfectly mirrors the narrative of Fifty Shades.

There is nothing sexy or cool about the way that Christian treats Ana in these novels, and the idea that he behaves that way because he's "damaged" seeks only to lift the blame from his shoulders and place it squarely on Ana's. It is not okay that he dominates her life and actively tries to bend her to his will. It's not okay that he takes advantage of her youth and inexperience. It is not okay that he exploits her desperate need for acceptance and validation.

I won't be recapping the novels as I originally intended, because it's already been done, (quite hilariously, actually) and I've already said all that I wanted to say. But I do hope that reading this will give women (and men) a new perspective on the novels, and help them understand that far from sexually liberating women, these books are doing more harm than good by touting a relationship that is marred by inequality and subjugation as the standard to which we should hold our own relationships.

Fifty Shades is shackling women to old, destructive ideas about women and sexuality, and men and dominance.
via USA Today

There's a lot to parse through when it comes to the Fifty Shades Trilogy. What are your thoughts on the subject? What was your response to the novel? Are you a fan of Ana Steele and Christian Grey's relationship or did you find it as problematic as I do? Let me know in the comments below.

Uncensored: Bloggging HBO's Girls [Episode #1: Pilot]

This is what a groovy lifestyle looks like.
Photo via Death And Taxes

It's here! I bet you thought I forgot, but as promised, here is the first installment in my review series of HBO's GIRLS! I've decided to take a slightly different approach. Instead of a straight review, I've enlisted my favourite cousin Ianthe (who is awesome, and with whom I will soon be starting a TV review blog! YAY!) to live blog each episode. We'll be watching each episode together in real time, (from different countries! technology!) and then putting our reactions, along with our slightly more thought out analysis, and some awesomely inappropriate screen-caps together for your enjoyment.

These comments are entirely conversational, and a lot of them are literally just us talking and responding to each other, so please don't judge us if we sound ridiculous. (Also, it was super late when we put this together so please forgive the occasional typo!) We both loved this show, and  we thought, as the target audience, we'd talk about our perspectives of the characters, their situations, and how it relates to our own lives.

Pink text is Cate (me) and purple text is Ianthe (awesome). So, do enjoy! And don't be shy about getting involved. Have you seen the show? What did you think? How did you enjoy the Pilot? Let us know in the comments. There is awesome sexy sex to be had after the jump! 

Feminism: 4 Kickass Female Characters Who Have it All

Recently, there have been a spate of articles about whether or not women can have it all. Not only do I think the answer is YES, I'm a little insulted that we're even still having this conversation.

Women are warriors in every single way. The important thing to note is that not everyone's "all" is the same. Not every woman wants 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Some women are totally okay living it up with their huge group of girls,* or dedicating their lives to a career that they love.

Don't believe me? Here are some great examples of (albeit fictional) women who are kicking ass and taking names, and encouraging us to do the same. 

Deborah Morgan (Dexter)

Jennifer Carpenter as Deb Morgan
via Wikipedia

At the start of the series, Deb is a police officer working undercover as a prostitute on the vice squad of the Miami Metro Police Department alongside older brother Dexter. Six seasons later, through excellent police work, determination to succeed and a sharp eye, she's been promoted to Detective and then Lieutenant. One of Deb's prominent characteristics is her persistence, and it keeps her moving upwards in her career even when she faces personal tragedies. See: Serial killer fiancé, murdered boyfriend and sister-in-law, getting shot and kidnapped, and *SPOILER!* falling in love with adoptive brother Dexter and seeing him murder someone. But never mind all that... At the end of the day, Deb is a foul-mouthed detective who knows what she wants and goes after it. She's succeeded in her career because it makes her happy to prove herself as competent. No kids or husband in sight. For her "having it all" means being an excellent police officer, and putting criminals behind bars, and that's perfectly fine. Deb is happy being of service to the city she loves, and for her, it's all she needs.

Betty Suarez (Ugly Betty)

America Ferriera as Betty Suarez
via Wikipedia

Betty Suarez starts the series as an aspiring writer, fresh from college, thrown into the shark pit of fashion. Working as the assistant to the Editor-in-Chief, Betty proves her worth over and over by coming up with quick solutions to problems, and continuously showing commitment to her job. By the end of the series, Betty has moved to England to start her dream job as the the Features Editor of an newly founded magazine. For Betty, "having it all" has always meant becoming a writer. She used her experiences at Mode to learn and grow, and to help her understand the ups and downs of the magazine industry. Through her ups and downs and various relationships, she never lost sight of her ultimate goal. Her stellar work ethic and dedication paid off, and in the end she was rewarded.

Cristina Yang (Grey's Anatomy)

Sandra Oh as Cristina Yang
via Hayley Hawkinson

Cristina Yang is a surgeon. She is brilliant and talented and driven and it's what defines her. After passing her boards, Cristina has several employment offers from hospitals across the country, a fact that she wickedly lourdes over her fellow doctors' heads. Even though she's been to hell and back at Seattle Grace/Mercy West, she's kept her eye on the prize, even in the face of the dissolution of her marriage. Cristina knows herself. When she became pregnant, she fought tooth and nail to make Owen understood that children were not part of the plan she had for herself, and to try to make him understand why she needed to abort. And when she found out that he cheated, although she still loved him, she made the best decision for herself by leaving the hospital to go to the Mayo Clinic. Cristina understands that in order to be happy, she needs to be okay with her personal decisions. For her "having it all" meant a job she loved and a husband who loved her. When Owen betrayed her, she didn't fall apart. She simply readjusted her plans to fit the new circumstances. After last season's cliff hanger, anything can happen, but I think it's safe to say that we can count on Cristina to know that she needs to look after her own self interests first, before trying please everyone else in her life. It's a lesson many women could stand to learn.

Leslie Knope (Parks & Recreation)

Amy Poehler as Leslie Knope
via Tauntr.com

Leslie Knope is an overachiever, and of all the women on this list, she is the only one who refuses to compromise. She knows what she wants and she will have it dammit! Perky and affable, Leslie is an avowed feminist who aspires to higher office, and has numerous female role models. (whose faces sit framed around her office.) Leslie loves her town Pawnee, and strives to do everything she can to make it a better place to live, with an enthusiasm that even Ron Swanson would approve of. When she fell in love with a co-worker and began dating him against city policy, she fought to save her relationship, even after they initially broke up to save their jobs. When a campaign team dropped her as a candidate for City Council, her friends and co-workers rallied around her to replace them, knowing how dedicated she was to pubic service. For Leslie "having it all" means being an advocate for the city that she loves, celebrating her friends and being with Ben, the man she loves.


So there you have it. Kick ass women doing kick ass things. What do you think? Are there any other awesome female characters you think I should have included? Who are your favourite kick ass ladies? Let me know in the comments below.

*I'm not advocating this kind of behavior, I just think that video is hilarious... :)