Sound Off: I'm a Cross Dresser. So Are You.

*Note: This post was inspired by a blog post I read in early January on Nerdy Apple Bottom and is long overdue. The post gained national attention and shone some light on the issue of fashion and gender identity. i apologize in advance if i do not adequately explain what i'm trying to say. feel free to comment and voice any concerns, problems or disagreements. 

Here we go again. 

An innocent young boy is subjected to the scrutiny and prejudice of mean-spirited adults. 

I have a problem with this.

how can you fault that adorable little face? :)

via nerdy apple bottom

Here are the facts:

Cop's Wife allowed her son Boo to dress as Daphne from the cartoon Sccoby Doo for Halloween.

Scoby Doo is his favourite cartoon.

Boo goes to a church pre-school.

Boo is 5 years old.

Apparently when Boo and Cop's Wife arrived at said pre-school for the halloween party/parade/whatever he was subjected to ridicule by the mothers of other children. Cop's Wife was not happy about this.


take that in and digest it, then read this and this and proceed. Going forward, I want to make it clear that everything else i say is completely MY opinion, and has nothing to do with what Cop's Wife may or may not think.

this is anne hathaway at the oscars. 
she looks beautiful.
she is wearing a suit and bow-tie.
men wear suits and bow-ties.
she is still beautiful.
she is still a heterosexual female.
wearing a suit did not make her gay.


fashion is a very lofty thing. we like to think of it as absolute, and that what we wear sends a definitive message about who we are. that's why our mom's get so upset when we enter that 'micro-mini-skirt' stage of adolescence. they're worried the other moms will think they have a 'slutty' daughter. but you want to know the big secret that the fashion industry doesn't want you to find out? it's JUST CLOTHES. i promise. contrary to whatever people might think, what you wear does not define you, and being 'sartorially promiscuous' as it were has no bearing on the person that you are. fashion is a TOOL of self-expression, not its definition.


what does this have to do with poor little Boo you ask? it's relevant because Cop's Wife was accused of promoting homosexuality by allowing her son to wear this costume. yup, you read that right.


this was so upsetting to me that i actually called a friend and cried when i first read it. i'm not gay, but i'm pretty sure that wearing a dress does not make you gay. and the idea that you could make your son gay by allowing his 5-year-old self to explore the world that he knows... it blows my mind that people that ignorant still exist in this world. but i will refrain from climbing atop my soap box and addressing the religious implications of this issue because i will inevitably offend some. instead i'll get to the real issue i'm trying to raise:


apparently, i'm a cross dresser. if you're a woman then chances are that you're a cross dresser too. there are very few societal double standards that don't benefit men, but this is one of them. a man who wears a dress is cross dresser. but why? by that logic, women who wear pants are cross dressers too. frankly my grandmother still thinks pants are vaguely obscene.

i distinctly remember bringing this up with my psych 101 TA in freshman year. why is a man wearing something designed with women in mind deemed abnormal, but not the other way around? if a man wears a bra or a skirt or makeup, he's a deviant or a transvestite, but if a woman wears her boyfriend's shirts or boxers, it's cute. hell, the entire idea of boyfriend jeans revolves around wearing clothing designed for the opposite sex. 


now some people might say, "that's not the same thing. dresses are for women." i'm sure that some people will even raise this as a feminist issue. i disagree. dresses are for whomever decides that they are pretty and wants to buy them. and why wouldn't men think that dresses are beautiful? they are! women are always complaining that men don't care about how they dress and that they don't appreciate the work that we as women put into getting dressed for them. why shouldn't men be just as able to appreciate the artistry that goes into creating a couture gown? (granted most men aren't running around in couture trying to make a statement)

james franco does not look pretty in a dress. but that is not his fault. 

via milky twilight

my point is this. clothing has no gender. wearing a certain article of clothing is not a testament to one's sexuality. people wear what they wear for various reasons, be it occasion, comfort or taste. for example there is a girl in my journalism class who comes in every week heavily tanned and made up, wearing sweatpants. every time. without fail. what conclusions should we draw about her because of that? none. because it's not our business. there is a difference between appropriate dress for a specific occasion and appropriate dress for a given person. why is it that men wearing skirts are 'dressed as women' as opposed to simply 'dressed'? why can men only wear dresses with the explicit understanding that it is in jest? things like this and thinking like this only contributes to the repressed society that we live in. the idea that a young boy could be shamed into thinking that there is something wrong with enjoying a cartoon character just because that character is of a different gender infuriates me. 


when i first read this article, it was soon after the rash of suicides by homosexual college students, and it pains me that even though things like that keep happening, no one is acknowledging that this kind of shaming is only a tiny part of a greater umbrella idea that continues to belittle people for being who they are. we ingrain in ourselves this tangible sense of polarity, and ostracize anyone who doesn't easily fit into one extreme or another. it's divisive and it's destructive.


i am a card-carrying female heterosexual and i wear pants.
i am a cross dresser.
that is all.

Sound Off: What Ugly Betty Taught Me About Fashion and Personal Style

anyone who's been keeping up with this blog already knows that the reason i got into fashion photography is because i fell in love with the ABC show ugly betty. (specifically season 3 episode 18: a mother of a problem) when the show got cancelled last year in its fourth season after ratings fell, i cried. yes, i actually cried.

now, almost a year later, i've focused my career ambitions and continued my dedication to the show that showed me my calling.

i recently started watching the entire series again on netflix, and i delight in the fact that i now recognize so many more faces and understand the references i didn't get the first time around. (insert nina garcia and christian siriano cameos, as well as issac mizrahi and adriana lima) watching it for the second time, i realize that somewhere in between daniel's shenanigans, the wilhemina baby drama, betty's debacle with henry and mark and amanda's nonsense, i actually learnt a thing or two about fashion. few would name betty suarez as a fashion icon, but to me, she is a pioneer of personal style. from her signature pearl B, to her loud and often floral ensembles, betty suarez taught me everything i will ever need to know about fashion. 


in the years that Betty worked at Mode, her style evolved, but she managed to never stray too far from her roots. Her quirky style remained evident even after she ditched the ponchos and bright coloured tights. every girl can learn a thing or two from Betty's fearless style. this is what i learnt:

1. Be Original:
if there's one thing betty has always been it's original. while everyone else at Mode was donning designer, she stuck to her flowers and often ridiculous bows. Through 3 seasons of ridicule and a daily blog of her outfits, Betty still managed to keep her Queens charm. Just because everyone is doing something, doesn't mean it's right for you. Fashion is about self expression and individuality, so wearing what everyone else says is in kind of defeats the purpose no? The thing that makes fashion so appealing to so many people is the way it acts as a symbol of the person that we are. We use clothes to signify to the world the kind of people that we are or want to be. (that's why moms are always a little concerned when those skirts get a little short!) the fact is, the reason we're judged so strongly on our appearance is because we all subconsciously accept that what we wear is a direct reflection of the people we are. being original and staying true to our personal fashion sense is one of the best ways to let people know what we stand for and who we are. 

2. Be Confident:

Betty would never have gotten through her years at Mode without the definite knowledge that she was good at what she did. Knowing that she deserved the opportunities given to her was one of the things that helped her wade through all the negativity being thrown at her on a daily basis. this is a lesson most of us already know. when it comes to fashion, confidence is key. i mean, let's face it, who could really wear these completely outlandish man-repelling getups without an armor of confidence and complete self-assuredness to protect them? this is a skill that betty has mastered, and it's something that we all can learn from her. moral of the story? if YOU think you look great, then hold your head up high and do what you do. (unless of course you're wearing ass-less chaps, in which case you might want to go home and change...)

3. Sometimes More is More:
much to the chagrin of her poor nephew justin, betty has always had a flair for bright colours in large amounts. the 'mode-ettes' cringe, but i say why not? obviously you can't always wear the entire contents of your wardrobe at all times, but being a little busy never hurt anyone. they key is to know what works. pick co-ordinating colours so that even if your outfit is loud, it isn't visually confusing. and pick your accessories wisely. some people like to keep their outfits simple and splurge on the add ons, some people do the reverse. betty wears everything all the time :) but at the end of the day, the most important thing is to OWN the look. if exuberance is your style, then there's no reason that your clothing shouldn't reflect that . 

4. Have a Signature Piece:

all the cool kids are doing it. betty's B has been with her since the beginning of the show, and it's one of the things that stand out about her style. having one accessory or styling flair that you can make all your own isn't a novel concept. (remember miranda priestly's white scarves in the devil wears prada?) that one thing can make you recognizable to the wider fashion community. kind of the way that some women have a signature scent. some women always wear red nails, others always wear their hair in a bun. your thing should showcase not just your fashion sense, but your personality. it should make you identifiable from afar a reasonable distance.

of course, towards the end of the last season, betty's sense of style finally evolved past ponchos and colourful socks. but i will always cherish the betty who thought that "dressing down" involved an all black ensemble with a bright pink bow on her butt. fashion is art. all it is, is another way of taking what you feel on the inside and putting it on display for the world. betty showed me that there's nothing wrong with letting people know who you are through what you wear. I salute you Betty Suarez.

Adventures In Black Hair Philosophy

i've never been much of a hair person. i mean, i am a girl and admittedly as vain as any other, but i have never had the patience to tend to overly dramatic or exacting hairdos. until i was 16, my mother did my hair for me every sunday afternoon. i would unloose the tiny corkscrews she'd neatly crafted the week before, wash my hair, and sit between between her legs with a fine toothed comb and tub of grease in hand, preparing for her to start the cycle all over again. 

after my form 5 graduation my mother informed me that she would no longer be doing my hair for me. frankly i was upset. firstly, this was our ritual. i was her only daughter and this was something that we shared. secondly, if she wasn't going to do it who would? CERTAINLY not me! the solution was that i would relax my hair. this however, was not particularly something i wanted to do. the idea of beating my hair to death with toxic chemicals had never really appealed to me; but it was an answer to my laziness.

as a direct result of my impatience for time consuming activities, my hair had mostly remained in tightly pulled back ponytails and buns for 3 years. through the rest of high school and into my freshman year at BU, my hair lay bored on top of my head, with the occasional foray into curls, whenever i remembered that i owned a curling iron. my hair remained relaxed until the summer i turned 19.

when i got home, i cut all it off. 

i HATED it at first. i'd never even had a haircut before, and now i was virtually bald. i thought i looked like a boy and i actually hid in my room for a week. (not that it was difficult. i was on vacation and my car was out of commission at the time. i didn't really have to leave the house) but as drastic a decision as it might seem, there was actually a method to my madness.

i had decided that i wanted to grow dreadlocks. the long tight spirals of cultivated locks appealed to me, and were similar to the style i had had when i was wearing my hair naturally. even though dreadlocks sometimes attract negative stereotypes, it's something that i'm willing to deal with, because i honestly believe that it is important for me to be proud to wear my hair the way that God intended; ie. naturally.

i never did get around to locking my hair that summer though, and i settled on a dye job in the end (a blonde dye, turned brown and bleached red in the sun....) and for the past year i have been wearing my hair in an afro. i have grown accustomed to the kinky texture of my hair and am happily reacquainted with the tiny curls atop my head. i have actually spent a considerable amount of time kicking myself for ever relaxing my hair in the first place. there is nothing more fun to do than twirl already tight curls when you are bored.

but it is now the last week of classes i am leaving BU in 9 days to go back home to trinidad. dreadlocks are the first thing on my agenda and i can't wait. soon i'll be joining the ranks of lisa bonet, and lauryn hill, but i will never forget my year long foray into embracing and accepting my natural hair with janelle monae and shingai shoniwa by rocking an afro.

CollegeFashionista: The Campus is Your Runway

Amy Levin is a twenty-three year old pioneer. As a recent college graduate with a passion for fashion, Amy used her limited resources to create a website that brought her love affair with fabric to college students around the country. She started with an idea, and out of it, collegefashionista.com was born.


College Fashionista is an online forum geared towards college-aged students. The goal of the site is to provide a sounding board for budding 'Fashionistas' to discuss current trends, receive fashion advice from fellow classmates, and keep track of fashion events on their respective campuses. With over 30 campuses involved nationally, and 4 international campuses, College Fashionista is well on its way to becoming the authority on college fashion.

After taking a class on trend forecasting during her London study abroad program, Levin became more aware of street style, and how much it influenced the fashion industry as a whole. This experience inspired her to intern with a trend reporting company in Los Angeles the following summer. At the same time, she was interning with a wardrobe studio's LA office. The experiences she had between both internships allowed her to greatly deepen her understanding of the fashion industry and how all its different components worked together.

At the end of that exciting summer, Amy found herself a senior at Indiana University and well on her way to receiving her degree in Apparel Merchandising. Confused as to what her next step should be, she met with a professor at IU and was advised that starting her own fashion blog would be an effective way to get her ideas about fashion out into the world while simultaneously boosting her resume. Levin took his advice and started on her fashion project, shooting pictures of her peers on campus, posting them to her blog, and giving advice on how to achieve the same look. Her site snowballed, and became popular among her friends, not only on IU's campus but at other universities as well.

Driven by the encouragement of her friends and family, Amy sought to expand her website into all the Big Ten Universities, with a writer at each campus replicating the format she had established at IU: Style Advice of the Week,Trends, Fashion News, Boutique of the Week and Weekend Forecast. After her graduation, Amy got her brothers involved in the technical side of her project working to develop the site into a legitimate business. Amy concentrated on spreading her idea through word of mouth and establishing 'Style Gurus' in each of the new schools. Starting with 15 Gurus in 7 schools, CollegeFashionista officially launched on August 1st, 2009.
In the 8 months that College Fashionista has been live, the site has expanded into 30 schools and now works with 120 gurus. The site not only acts as a forum for college students to expand their knowledge of fashion, but provides a opportunity for aspiring fashion journalism and photography students like myself to establish their writing portfolios and showcase their growing talent. The site also helps to expose its readers to other online fashion resources, and to foster their experiences with fashion.
Having been an intern at College Fashionista for the last 6 months (along with fellow Quad writer Renee Trilivas) I can honestly say that my experiences with the site have helped expose me to the wider fashion community online. Through College Fashionista, I've discovered other online fashion authorities like The Sartorialist, Jak&Jil, and4thandBleeker. It's also encouraged me to pay more attention to my own fashion photography blogs that until then had remained severely neglected.
Amy hopes that in the coming years, the site will continue to expand and will be established as the foremost source on college fashion. The college-aged demographic has such a commanding influence on the fashion industry that it is not a far stretch to believe that this might eventually happen, with the site gaining as much notoriety and  influence as other notable fashion authorities.
When asked about the ideology behind her site Amy stated, "I never ever want the website to turn into a criticism site where people show photos of what not to wear. That is not the point of the site. The point of the site is to show how a trend can’t be defined on college campuses, since there are so many students and such a large demographic of people that there isn’t one set look that everyone follows."
The world is now set up in such a way that it is extremely easy to find other people who share the same interests as you. College Fashionista is essentially an aggregate source of all the most astute fashion enthusiasts at various college campuses. Amy's vision and drive has helped to promote fashion as a legitimate career path for aspiring Fashionistas. We can see from her story that all you need to make a name for yourself is an idea, and the commitment necessary to see it through to fruition.
You can interact with CollegeFashionista on Facebook, Twitter, Lunch.com and BlogLovin. Anyone interested in joining the College Fashionista family can apply at apply@collegefashionista.com

Be A Lady. Wear Some Lipstick.

My grandmother thinks it most unlady-like to leave the house with bare lips.
I disagree, but I have found a recent fascination with lipstick.
I've always been a burgundy girl, sticking to the more red tones of lipstick when I did opt to pick up a tube, but recently, I purchased L'oreal's Colour Riche Lipstick from CVS in "Spice" which is a deep reddish-brown shade, and I think I'm now a permanent convert.


Darker shades may not work for everyone however. As it is, I had to spend a great deal of time convincing myself that the slightly washed out look my new "Spice" lipstick gives me is just a new edgy style, but there ARE a lot of shades that will look good on any stylish Fashionista.


The classic red lip is a fashion staple. It suits everyone, regardless of skin tone. It also usually suits most outfits as well. If you like the traditional, this is the way to go. Other great colors that suit most girls are a deep maroon or a bright pink.


I have been noticing though, that for the spring 2010 season, color is in. I recommend that if you want to stand out, vary the shades of more than just your eyeshadow. Lipsticks are one of those beauty products that can stand alone. If you're rushing out of your room and don't have time to do a full face, a bold lip color can make all the difference between look drab all day and looking like a trendsetter.


Try this purple lipstick to stand out from the crowd, or thisdaring black shade to show your fearlessness. A nice deep green in guaranteed to get you some attention, but a  bright blue shade will definitely turn heads. Lastly, yellow lips will set you so far ahead of the fashion curve that people will stop you in the street to ask you where you got your spectacular shade.


Essentially, wearing lipstick is a personal choice. It took me years to get comfortable with the idea of color on my lips and I only very recently graduated from clear gloss. But no matter what your style or preference, there is likely a shade out there that will delight you and make you giggle with glee!


In any case, be a lady. Wear some lipstick.