Friday, 30 December 2016

Bring On The Next Dumpster Fire

via aboutface.org

2016 was a dumpster fire of a year. Not counting larger international setbacks *handwaves* I had a shitty time personally. I ended relationships and I reevaluated others, but mostly I figured out how to get closer to being my own best self. It took a lot of self-reflection and recognition of my own limits, but I'm better off for it, even if it was a long and painful process.

Somehow I also managed to accomplish quite a bit. I wrote my dissertation and finished my Masters degree. I completed a pop culture criticism fellowship with Bitch Media, I appeared on the BGD Podcast, I pitched my first paid pieces and became a ~*rEaL wRiTeR*~ and I started building professional relationships that I hope I can cultivate as my career progresses. I'm proud of those things. They were difficult and extremely hard-won, and now that I've done them, I know I can do them again and again until I'm comfortable enough to raise the bar and try something more difficult and much harder won.

The biggest lesson I learned this year is that despite all the whining about how entitled millennials are, no one ever teaches you how to be an adult or gives you a sustainable roadmap for your life. You're on your own. You figure it out through trial and error and you hope you don't fuck up irreparably. I'm 26 and I'm CONSTANTLY calling my mum to complain about the latest thing I failed at, because at this point in my life it feels like time is slipping away from me and I've never going to have the kind of life I want. And while the first part isn't true, the second part doesn't have to be. It's just going to take far more hustling than I was told I'd ever have to do, what with my good education and two degrees.

2017 will probably suck. That's just the way life goes, but it doesn't have to suck for me. I have goals and I'm planning to achieve them. I'm going to write more. I'm going to stop neglecting this blog. I'm going to save and I'm going to stop making lateness a part of my identity. I'm going to find a way to get myself to the opportunities that I want. Because all I can do is make sure that I'm set.

Here's to 2017!