Sound Off: I'm a Cross Dresser. So Are You.

*Note: This post was inspired by a blog post I read in early January on Nerdy Apple Bottom and is long overdue. The post gained national attention and shone some light on the issue of fashion and gender identity. i apologize in advance if i do not adequately explain what i'm trying to say. feel free to comment and voice any concerns, problems or disagreements. 

Here we go again. 

An innocent young boy is subjected to the scrutiny and prejudice of mean-spirited adults. 

I have a problem with this.

how can you fault that adorable little face? :)

via nerdy apple bottom

Here are the facts:

Cop's Wife allowed her son Boo to dress as Daphne from the cartoon Sccoby Doo for Halloween.

Scoby Doo is his favourite cartoon.

Boo goes to a church pre-school.

Boo is 5 years old.

Apparently when Boo and Cop's Wife arrived at said pre-school for the halloween party/parade/whatever he was subjected to ridicule by the mothers of other children. Cop's Wife was not happy about this.


take that in and digest it, then read this and this and proceed. Going forward, I want to make it clear that everything else i say is completely MY opinion, and has nothing to do with what Cop's Wife may or may not think.

this is anne hathaway at the oscars. 
she looks beautiful.
she is wearing a suit and bow-tie.
men wear suits and bow-ties.
she is still beautiful.
she is still a heterosexual female.
wearing a suit did not make her gay.


fashion is a very lofty thing. we like to think of it as absolute, and that what we wear sends a definitive message about who we are. that's why our mom's get so upset when we enter that 'micro-mini-skirt' stage of adolescence. they're worried the other moms will think they have a 'slutty' daughter. but you want to know the big secret that the fashion industry doesn't want you to find out? it's JUST CLOTHES. i promise. contrary to whatever people might think, what you wear does not define you, and being 'sartorially promiscuous' as it were has no bearing on the person that you are. fashion is a TOOL of self-expression, not its definition.


what does this have to do with poor little Boo you ask? it's relevant because Cop's Wife was accused of promoting homosexuality by allowing her son to wear this costume. yup, you read that right.


this was so upsetting to me that i actually called a friend and cried when i first read it. i'm not gay, but i'm pretty sure that wearing a dress does not make you gay. and the idea that you could make your son gay by allowing his 5-year-old self to explore the world that he knows... it blows my mind that people that ignorant still exist in this world. but i will refrain from climbing atop my soap box and addressing the religious implications of this issue because i will inevitably offend some. instead i'll get to the real issue i'm trying to raise:


apparently, i'm a cross dresser. if you're a woman then chances are that you're a cross dresser too. there are very few societal double standards that don't benefit men, but this is one of them. a man who wears a dress is cross dresser. but why? by that logic, women who wear pants are cross dressers too. frankly my grandmother still thinks pants are vaguely obscene.

i distinctly remember bringing this up with my psych 101 TA in freshman year. why is a man wearing something designed with women in mind deemed abnormal, but not the other way around? if a man wears a bra or a skirt or makeup, he's a deviant or a transvestite, but if a woman wears her boyfriend's shirts or boxers, it's cute. hell, the entire idea of boyfriend jeans revolves around wearing clothing designed for the opposite sex. 


now some people might say, "that's not the same thing. dresses are for women." i'm sure that some people will even raise this as a feminist issue. i disagree. dresses are for whomever decides that they are pretty and wants to buy them. and why wouldn't men think that dresses are beautiful? they are! women are always complaining that men don't care about how they dress and that they don't appreciate the work that we as women put into getting dressed for them. why shouldn't men be just as able to appreciate the artistry that goes into creating a couture gown? (granted most men aren't running around in couture trying to make a statement)

james franco does not look pretty in a dress. but that is not his fault. 

via milky twilight

my point is this. clothing has no gender. wearing a certain article of clothing is not a testament to one's sexuality. people wear what they wear for various reasons, be it occasion, comfort or taste. for example there is a girl in my journalism class who comes in every week heavily tanned and made up, wearing sweatpants. every time. without fail. what conclusions should we draw about her because of that? none. because it's not our business. there is a difference between appropriate dress for a specific occasion and appropriate dress for a given person. why is it that men wearing skirts are 'dressed as women' as opposed to simply 'dressed'? why can men only wear dresses with the explicit understanding that it is in jest? things like this and thinking like this only contributes to the repressed society that we live in. the idea that a young boy could be shamed into thinking that there is something wrong with enjoying a cartoon character just because that character is of a different gender infuriates me. 


when i first read this article, it was soon after the rash of suicides by homosexual college students, and it pains me that even though things like that keep happening, no one is acknowledging that this kind of shaming is only a tiny part of a greater umbrella idea that continues to belittle people for being who they are. we ingrain in ourselves this tangible sense of polarity, and ostracize anyone who doesn't easily fit into one extreme or another. it's divisive and it's destructive.


i am a card-carrying female heterosexual and i wear pants.
i am a cross dresser.
that is all.